Ask Guru Gobbo #157

With the new year comes the same ol' Gurus. Wait, no, I was supposed to sell this feature. Uh... it slices and dices?

- January 3rd, 2010

  1. Leirin
  2. Steve Valor
  3. Forever Cherry Kirby
  4. Horizon Knight
  5. Kei
  6. Topmonhit
  7. Clumbone
  8. A Wacko Who Thinks Too Much
  9. Kirby-4-Ever
  10. Air-Man

I was watching Dumbo the other day, a movie with a silent protagonist and a co-star that "does the talking". Despite liking the Kirby anime, I thoroughly agree with some of the points you make in your Rants. In this movie, Dumbo's presence is strongly felt even when his friend is having a long discussion, size differences may have something to do with this. But this is an example of a time where I actually thought having a silent protagonist was pulled off perfectly, whereas in the Kirby anime we don't actually get enough of Kirby, we get too much of Tiff. Why is this? Technically Kirby did still talk more than Dumbo. Maybe it's just because it's a whole anime series instead of just one short movie. Do you think the anime would've been better just as a movie instead of a 100-episode TV show? And how could we pull off the "silent protagonist" role for Kirby better than it was in the cartoon?

- Leirin

Squeaky Bogg

What, exactly, could I say here that wasn't already said in my tongue-lashing on the animated series? Silent protagonists work as they are still the protagonist. Kirby, in the show, was reduced to a weapon, something like Voltron or Captain Planet. Sure, said weapon could be disabled or delayed by the villains, but it was never really pivotal as a plot point. Dumbo was involved in the heart of the movie. Viewers felt and cared for his struggle and journey of learning his true potential, believing in himself, blah blah blah. Kirby, not so much. He'd just suck something up, get some ability, and shoot stuff. Now, again, ev'rybody shaddap 'bout the shows many, many flaws (or defending it, it doesn't matter which).

1. Of all the abilities, how does Kirby end up with Cook for his Final Smash in Dairanto Smash Bros. X (Brawl)?

2. What was the point of turning Ice Dragon into a mecha in the anime?

- Steve Valor

Squeaky Bogg

1) Kirby is a glutton. He's known for eating people. What ability better says "ultimate Kirby attack" than Cook?

2) Ice Dragon was already in the animated series, and as they are devoid of original ideas, the Team Rocket-esque "make something a big robot that does the same thing" cop-out was performed.

You know those big, grey blocks with the stars on them that all four kirbys are supposed to move with their inhale ability? There are two located on Mustard Mountain, except they are both on the side of the erupting volcano opposite of the kirbys. Is it actually possible to move these blocks without burning yourself in the process, or are they just there?

- ForeverCherryKirby

Squeaky Bogg

Yes, you can move them, of course. Just about any FAQ will tell you such. Getting the three moronic AI controlled Kirby copies to help you in this endeavor is quite the feat (as the repeat responsed portion of your question outlines). However, carefully positioning actual human controlled players can get the job done. Or, to do it yourself, just grab an ability with screen shaking power, like Burning or Master, and tremor them into the magma flows. There's just extra lives and other such power-ups behinds those things, so it's nothing essential to the game.

Would a spin-off Meta Knight game work IF it explained Meta's history?

In KSS/U, you would see Kirby conducting the music in the sound room. Does this mean that, while being tone-deaf, Kirby has a sense for music?

- Horizonknight

Squeaky Bogg

1) I see no reason as to why that sour medicine would remedy the ill situation. First of all, you're suggesting that an explained storyline would benefit anyone. How? Lemme break it down into easily managed pills:

Meta Knight thrives on the fact that he has no storyline. Mystery and intrigue leads to instant fan appeal. If they finally were to say whether he was Kirby's brother/father/lost friend/no one in particular, it would ruin the illusion had in everyone's eyes. An unknown holds infinite possibility. A revealed fact, no matter great or disappointing, has defined limits. People would stop caring, and about 96% of all Kirby fan fictions would be rendered worthless. Effectively, pulling the curtain off of the Great Oz is character assassination.

Kirby games are not big on storyline. Frankly, I don't get why any game is big on storyline outside of role playing games. Story is for books and movies. Games are supposed to be about, you know, game play. Kirby games are really big on this aspect with lots of variability and controls. You know, how a game is supposed to be.

A Meta Knight game would still be Kirby with just the Sword ability regardless of how many bells and whistles they threw into the story. That fact will never change. This is why his play is limited as an alternate character to blow through games already played in a speed run. His worth as a lead protagonist for game play value is meaningless when placed aside the superior sucker, Kirby.

2) Kirby is depicted composing music despite his singing handicap since they wanted an image of Kirby conducting music to put in the sound test. Do you really think the answer would be profound? This is the same game that has the whole of the cast happily watching the game in a theater as if it were a movie. Sometimes, they just don't care. Again, constancy isn't the utmost priority in this game series.

Is there any more Nintendo DS or DSi games under development at the moment?

- Kei

Squeaky Bogg

Why is this deemed necessary to ask? Why is it that people think we're holding out on them? It's not like the staff at Rainbow Resort want to keep information from the fans. The second that any information is leaked about an upcoming Kirby game, bam, posted on the main page. That's what we've always done. "Hey, this new game is coming out. Yaaay! Still no word on Kirby Wii, tho'. Yaay?"

We've never held back. We get information to you as quickly as possibly. Yet, some people out there feel that they have to incessantly ask if anything new has been released, as though we wouldn't share it unless our bluff was called.

There are no games known to be in development for Kirby outside his much delayed Wii title. If there were, we'd have it posted on the site.

Hypothetical (or hypothermia) question: If the Kirby anime was made 4 or 5 years earlier, do you think that instead of makin' stuff up they'd base it on the most recent Kirby game, Kirby's Dreamland 3? Considering when the anime was made the most recent game was 2 years ago... anyway, just a thought I thought and would like your thoughts.

- Topmonhit

Squeaky Bogg

Hypothetical answer, the animated series would have never been made. It, and countless other shows, only got a chance from the Pokémon boom of the end '90s.

But, I can't say what should or could happen. I specialize and am only supposed to answer facts here. And the facts are that video game adaptations always disgrace on the original. Few ever escape the inferno of shameful suggestions that executives force on the creative staff unsinged. It wouldn't have mattered if Zero was the big bad in place of Nightmare as they'd probably throw in Skippy, Kirby's annoying and adventurous young friend who is shaped like a peanut. And, like, Meta Knight would have all over chiverous and zealous instead of Spanish, neither which really fit him.

Time had no factor on the animated series. It was Sakurai, Kirby's creator, who dealt the lethal blow to the cartoon's fate by cutting out the tough puff's tongue. You can try as you might to find little changes that could have made the series better, but the father of it all put the noose around the non-existing neck and stood by his hand on the gallows switch. Er, I mean, cutesy imagery! Butterflies, flowers, what not.

Why is the back of Mr. Frosty's pants missing?

- Clumbone

Squeaky Bogg

It's really not missing. That's just the highlights on his black colored overalls. If that were an exposed rump, don't you think it'd be the same color as his pale skin rather than his darker muzzle? Unless he has a second mouth down there, ... I don't want to think about this any further.

Could Daroach, the major antagonist of sorts in "Kirby Squeak Squad", be seen as a sort of bat? He seems to be able to float, as a lot of flying things in the Kirby series do, rather know, fly, and his cape is stylized like a bat's wing (and we know what the Kirby creative team tends to do to capes).

- A Wacko Who Thinks About Things Way Too Much

Squeaky Bogg

He's leader of the Squeak Squad, known in a game called "Mouse Attack" in other regions. He has rounded ears, not pointed, large eyes, a pointed mouse nose, and hands. Hands. One detail in his appearance, which is clothing to boot, does not nor in any way make room for this assumption to even appear. What about that he doesn't flap his cape? Yes, a lot of things float, but anything with wings flaps, including their at-least three bat enemies. Doesn't all this add even more to the "How much did you drink on New Years?" (Yes, I am aware that this question was probably sent in no where near the date, but that's my witty response, and it's staying).

No, Daroach floats since he's associated with Magic. The top hat, the wand, the cape, teleporting -- the guy's a magician. All of the Squeaks had an association with some type of copy ability, sometimes two. Spinni was Ninja and Animal, Storo was Hammer, Doc was UFO and, I think, Laser, and the leader guy was Bomb and Magic affiliated, although he never dropped these off as copyable objects since he was only faced boss style.

Suggestion: don't spend so much time contemplating aspects to a game about a marshmallow who rides stars and eats dough balls.

I have a question about episode 52 of Hoshii no Kaabii.

When a poster in the store comes on the screen, you'll see pics of Arthur, Falspar, Nonsurat, Dragato, the 3 Star warriors in witch I forgot their names, and this normal Star warrior with a spear. How come Garlude haven't been turned into an action figure? And MK is his own atction figure though it didn't appear on the poster?

- Kirby-4-ever

Squeaky Bogg

Garlude died. Like, a long time ago. Meta Knight had been, for many years, in hiding on Pop Star to keep a low profile. Those depicted were just Galaxy Soldier Army members of notoriety. You put your A-listers on the front to draw people in. Everyone wants to buy Cobra Commander and Snake Eyes, but who cares about Shipwreck? At least, I'm guessing that case. It's not like I've ever seen the episode. Seems like a general circumstance, however.

In the Great Cave Offensive of the game KSSU, what and where exactly is the item between the Katana and Xmas tree?I have tried looking every where and just cannot find it.

Do you think that they should continue on the idea of mixing abilities like in KSS? I would love rocket powered wheelie!

- Air-Man

Squeaky Bogg

1) A lack of religious association and more focus on target demographic weeaboo. Gamewise, however, there's no difference. A lot of items were changed, but no real change occurred.

2) But they didn't mix abilities in- oh, you mean Squeak Squad, not Super Star. Ever since Ultra, I guess people don't see the need to abbreviate it "SqSq". Anyhoo, that whole mixing endevour was a complete bust. They didn't even have that many powers that crossed, and, when they did, it just put an "element" onto the power with no change to its function, unlike in Crystal Shards. A rocket powered wheel would never exist in this style.

Repeat Response:

  1. GameQube asked if the Story Book could be won.
  2. DiddyJakal wondered how to submit comics to the site.
  3. RoodyKirby questioned if Kirby's feet/shoes.
  4. Fabian inquired if Meta Knight was Kirby's father.
  5. PB wanted to know why I loath the animated series. Yeah, that dead horse again.
  6. PB asked if enemies in Kirby really die.
  7. ForeverCherryKirby asked why the other Kirby's in Amazing Mirror are so stupid.
  8. MegakirbyXD asked if the animated series would continue... even though it ended six years ago.
  9. DDD asked about Kirby Wii ... 'cuz they obviously don't pay attention.

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Last Updated - January 3rd, 2010