Ask Guru Gobbo #155

Did everyone have a good Thanksgiving? Does anyone think I actually care one way or the other? Did anyone guess "no"? You're right! You get leftovers, by which I mean answered questions. Aaand maybe some cold turkey.

- November 29th, 2009

  1. Game Qube
  2. King Of Pie
  3. Laura
  4. Commander Keen
  5. Chibi-Pohatu
  6. Pikangie
  8. Roody Kirby
  9. Hi
  10. Blaziken Kirby
  11. Locoroco1
  12. Kirbynario17
  13. Roody Kirby

Are grumples made of stone or are they organic being?

The kabu in the anime is pretty big, is it a dekabu?

- GameQube

Squeaky Bogg

1) Grumples are Kabu, and the make-up of Kabu has been addressed. Lines, connected. Wow!

2) Apparently, I got this question before, but it was when Prophallus was guest-answering. Then, it was too stupid of a question to even bother addressing. Now, nothing has changed. Here's the real question, Qube: Why didn't the show pay any homage to the game series?

And there's your answer.

What IS squeaky bogg? I heard somewhere that says he's a goblin. Is that what he is? If that's not what he's called, what IS he? Are there more of his species (besides his swedish cousin)?

- King Of Pie

Squeaky Bogg

Squeaky Bogg is a Dream Lander, which really is a generic as well as botched term since the kind are found across the planet, solar system, and even galaxy. It's just a cute, rounded whatzit that frequents the Kirbyverse. Same as Waddle Dee and the rest of them. They have no true identity. Sure, some of them have more obvious influences like Como being a spider or Squishy a squid, but ones like Pacto are just, well, themselves. I like to compare the fan-created goblinoid to Marx. You don't see others of him around, either.

As for him being a "goblin", that is something called a substitution! Good writers do that, ya know. Rather than throwing out the same boring words or phrases endlessly, more interesting synonyms or equivalents are put in their place. Bad writers put "he said" after every line of dialog.

Yes, I do call 'im a goblin, but that word technically only describes an exclusive class of mining fairies which later applied to any green skinned wretch in general fantasy settings. Note that I also call Bogg a imp, kobold, fiend, devil, maniac, lunatic, green pudge, and sneak. These are descriptions. I give Broom Hatter titles like sweeper, witch, clean freak, and so on. To Kirby, I apply creampuff, marshmallow, pink puff, glutton, roly-poly, etc. Am I literally implying that the hero is a glutenous mass of sugar products? No, don't be stupid. It's literary craft. Try reading above the third grade level. You'll find a lot of it.

You said in the last session that Cutter Kirby has a hat that resembles a duck. My question is, why?

- Laura

Squeaky Bogg

Explaining that would be like explaining why Kirby is pink, why Dedede is blue, or why anything in the game series. This stuff can't be explained. It's mostly just creator preference and choice. Not everything has meaning.

However, there does seem to be something up with Japan giving ducks boomerangs. I can't find any solid connection to it and, therefore, can only note a small trend. Outside of the ducky hat, Kapar, a Kappa based foe, holds the Cutter ability. In Wario Land 1, the enemy Dangerous Duck throws 'rangs out as a weapon. Why? No clue. I can't find any connection between ducks and the come-back weapon.

1. I was just thinking about abilities from Dream Land 2/3. It occured to me how with Animals like Rick and Pitch seem to have the abilities and seem to fire/attack with them while it is Kirby who is the one who is supposed to copy abilities. With Rick it looks like he is the one eating the enemies and copying it! So the question is that is Kirby unique in his copy abilities or can others do it?

2. Weird question. Do you think a Kirby game would work on a MS-DOS operating system computer with the game being produced around 1990? I know to expect a PC speaker but could it actually be a good game?

- Commander Keen

Squeaky Bogg

1) Gooey. I mean, you acknowledge Pitch but overlook the second player doing exactly what Kirby does? No, Kirby is not unique in his copiness.

2) You're an idiot. Sure, I could go into a comparison and analysis of technological requirements for the Kirby games and how the original Game Boy could be rivaled by a calculator in terms of processing power, but I think I'll stick with you're an idiot. How is this in anyway an interesting or insightful question? Just 'cuz you wanted to fight against the repeated onslaught of last session doesn't mean you should go and just think up completely stupid things to ask here. I'd rather have no questions than just awful ones.

1) Are Blob and Gooey somehow related? They're both globs 'o goo, after all.

2) How can I upload to the collabortive comics section?

- Chibi-Pohatu

Squeaky Bogg

1) Since Blob and Gooey had identical sprites in Dream Land 2 outside of color and a bow, one could assume that each is made out of Dark Matter, putting them as two peas in a pod like other bowwed/non-bowwed pairings like Lololo & Lalala. Siblings or in-love is debatable. However, now, you have to remember that Blob has even less backstory and information than any other Kirby character since she was honestly just invented in America so that the US youth didn't have to see a little human girl pop out of a bag.

2) You can't. Simple enough? It was created for the ever-so-failed No Emo project. Unless some hint of hope to people not sucking comes, that'll all stay dead and buried.

1. What do you think of Kirby x Jigglypuff?

2. Has Kirby ever said any words other than "Hi"?

3. Do you think that when Kirby swallows Jigglypuff, he looks kind of like Clefairy(at least in the n64 ver of Super Smash Bros)?

4. Why can Kirby fly infinitely in some games, but not in others?

- Pikangie

Squeaky Bogg

1) While Kirby x Jigglypuff had priorly and more recently addressed, I found out that the questioner spelled it "Jiggpuff", and so you cannot be scolded for not just simply looking up and finding the answer.

2) For the last time, yes, Kirby can speak. There just isn't any sound bytes of it. This answer, now, was just re-referenced in the last session's Attack of Repeat Response, so I can shame ya for it.

3) Jiggly already looked enough like the Clefs. You shrink-ray those eyes down, and their a dead ringer, which effectively is what Kirby with a Jiggly-scalp on is.

4) Why can he inhale infinitely in some games? How come Broom Hatter only gives an ability in some games? How come- how come- how come- To switch it up. They're not going to say, "Well, we already had it this way, so allll these game ideas will have to rot forever." No, the series isn't that deep rooted and set. All long running series do that. Otherwise, every sequel would just be the previous game, and then you'd just have Halo.

In KSS, Marx made a wish so he can rule Popstar. If he did so, how could've Kirby won? NOVA makes all wished come true! Kirby destroying Marx isn't "coming true".

Another question, how do you know if someone means Kirby Super Star, Kirby Star Stacker, or Kirby Squeak Squad when they say "KSS"?


Squeaky Bogg

1) Marx' desire was to rule Pop Star, and NOVA went to put it under his command; however, that didn't give Marx any special protection himself. It's sorta like handing a deed over to someone. Sure, it is as good as had, but a legal document doesn't protect against someone else, say, taking a shovel to the back of his head. Ruling in no way involves indestructibility. The wish did come true in that, for a short few minutes, Pop Star was ruled, but someone bigger and stronger could still have toppled the empire. The wish should have been worded "rule Pop Star forever".

2) Traditionally, Squeak Squad is referenced with the abbreviation of "SqSq" to avoid confusion. Star Stacker is merely never spoken of. Ever. That's the fans speaking, not me. Really, no one cares about it.

how can i be a normal user

- RoodyKirby

Squeaky Bogg

... Sigh. Ometon needs to get that Passport FAQ up so I don't have to deal with this drudgery.

You are currently labeled as an "Unconfirmed" user since you listed an email address in your account. As the system told you, an email was sent to your account to confirm that it was a real email address. Check your email, check your SPAM folder, and follow what it says to confirm your account, and you'll be back to normal.

You know, like how every single other email confirmation across the internet has always worked since the dawn of the web. Tomorrow, Uncle Gobbo explains gravity. Things fall down. Whoops! I ruined that installment.

If Kirbies are born once a tousand years, wouldn't Meta Knight be a thousand, one years old by now?

- Hi

Squeaky Bogg

I haven't the slightest clue where this total, steaming, reeking, fly-fetching load comes from. The animated series? No, Kirby was created by Nightmare. That involved no time dependency. He made things on his whim and fancy.

Now, are you confusing Star Warrior with Kirby's Unnamed Species, as oh-so many fans of the animated series do? 'Cuz they aren't the same, not by a long shot. The arrival of a Star Warrior is like any fabled, legendary hero and occurs once in a long span of time. Meta Knight, yes, is hundreds upon hundreds of years old. That's been addressed directly in the show. Kirby came out two-hundred years too early and was still a toddler. So, if two centuries separated till his prime, you can ration how long that type live. Additionally, where does this "a thousand one years old" come from? If they were to only be born every one-thousand, wouldn't that make him a minimum of a thousand years Kirby's senior? Age(Meta Knight) >= Age(Kirby) + 1000

To recap: 1) Get your facts straight. 2) Star Warriors are not a species but chosen souls. 3) Meta Knight is really, really old. 4) Pay more attention in math class.

1. Is there any food that Kirby doesn't like?

2. Does Meta Knight have any fave food?

3. What's a Mint Leaf?

4. Does King DeDeDe have any fave food?

- BlazikenKirby

Squeaky Bogg

1) Spiders, I guess. He's a glutton, so there's not much outside of a clean plate.

2) Meta Knight has a secret love for candies, but, outside of that little informative tidbit, why would you expect anything about character who's entire foundation is mystery to be revealed?

3) The Mint Leaf is an item in the original Dream Land. That one could've easily been looked up in all the dozens of ways to find information on this site.

4) The King loves all food equally. Mostly, he favors others' food.

What does Stone's hat have to do with the ability?

- Locoroco1

Squeaky Bogg

The hat choice for Stone is a kind of kabuto. No, that's not a pocket monster. It's a traditional Japanese helmet. Pretty much, it's armor. Stone has been the ability known for its superior defensive capabilities since day, which actually is day two, Kirby's Adventure. Since the rock is the go-to ability for defense, it dons the warrior headgear. Also, they probably had it already made for Ninja and just went ahead and reused it. They reused hats in the original Super Star more than in the remake.

can anyone make kirby fan characters?

- Kirbynario17


At first glance, this question isn't aimed properly. The matter shouldn't be "can" but rather should. Making a fan character is just like making up anything else. Nothing really prevents anyone from applying thoughts to the domain of fandom; however, there is a question to whether they have the rights to do so in the first place.

And, no, I'm not referring to legal rights. I'm talking about a much more basic form of the stuff. Some people just shouldn't make fan characters or, rather, not claim to. People go all out with the terminology and verbage to the stuff, but I truly believe that the stuff should only rightfully be called by the title of original fan character.

Why both parts? Well, some people just take an established creation within a series, say a Poppy Bros. Jr., slap on a first name and maybe a distinctive feature (say a tie, a jester hat, or, more likely, ugh, hair) and call it a fan character. Really, that's more of just giving or defining behavior to a canon character. It's sorta like building up something on the foundation given by the series.

Now, an original character is, by the words that constitute the phrase, both original and a character. That... can't involve an established series, franchise, or other what-have-you. It has to be an independent property linked with only other self-owned and independent properties. Thus, being original.

Putting it together like Thing Rings, the original fan character is not something chiseled out from an already cut into block but rather a feat made from a fresh and blank slab. The key part is that both it and those already established within canon are made from the same material. A good example: Squeaky Bogg. Toot, toot! That was my own horn.

Then, you have something that is neither: the avatar or "user character". It's okay to have a user name like, say, Carbon Kirby by applying your favorite Spray Paint to your favorite character or, worse, Kirby and some numbers. The problem arises when people feel they have to use said user name as the basis for a character in role playing stories. Pretty much everyone has a user name like that. It gets even worse when one feels that the normal clichés are needed for this on-the-spot fabrication: sorted past, dead parents, holy destiny, the whole spiel. If I've said once, I've said it a thousand times: plots in Kirby get as stupid-simple as chasing rats for cake. The whole fantasy epic thing doesn't really pan out. Don't curse a creation with such.

With the Webster's outta the way, both types of fan characters have one observation that is normally completely missed: homage to their roots. So many people shouldn't make fan characters because they just don't get it. I've seen them all, up and down the "Are you kidding me?" scale of bad. They range from uninspired (e.g. a Kirby clone with hair but otherwise exactly the same except for being OMG! powerful, Meta Knight but colored green, etc.) to contradictory (e.g. Kine being intelligent instead of dopey, Gooey being anything but absent minded, etc.) to the way-off-base (e.g. too dark, too serious, too angsty, etc.). Yes, I know that dark matter and nightmares are a common plot point. That doesn't mean that Dream Landers should comb their hair over one eye and cut themselves.

The "tl;dr" wrap-up is: People shouldn't make fan characters because they do it poorly. That same philosophy can be applied to original characters, too, for the most part. Creativity is usually low, and a lot of these things are fabricated because folks want to participate in some sort of interactive writing story. The problem is that if they're that bad at character design, what hope do they have at writing with them? (Uncle Gobbo's Hint: Zero!)

Actually, now that I think about the question as asked, "Can anyone make a fan character?" the answer is no. Not everyone can.

did you know theres another cancelled Kirby game called Kirby's Dream Land 2 DX

- RoodyKirby

Squeaky Bogg

Y'know, it is my business to know these things. Yes, I was aware that a remake slated for Dream Land 2. Wikipedia has that information, so it's not like it's buried trivia. There was also Metroid II and Link's Awakening set for this treatment as well, which was slapping "DX" in the title and re-releasing them on Game Boy Color. By my understanding, the Zelda game was released, the Metroid one had some leaked sprites and what not, and Kirby... well, it's either no one cared to closely follow its progress or it got the least attention.

This was tentative, and nothing ever happened for as far as I can tell. For Air Ride on the N64, screen shots were out. For Tilt 'n' Tumble 2, a demo of game play was shown by Miyamoto himself. Even Kid Kirby had promotional materials released. This colored remake probably consisted of the following conversation: "Hey, we should, like, remake a Kirby game in color. What? No? You don't like that idea? Yeah, it was already made for Super Game Boy. That's sorta like giving it color... Okay, then let's drop it." I don't think this game ever got off the ground floor. There's honestly nothing on it, outside of a mention, so we don't even bother listing it on the site as a canceled game.

Repeat Response:

  1. William Michaud wondered why Meta Knight attacks his own ship in Meta Knightmare Ultra.

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Last Updated - November 29th, 2009