July 18th, 2008

   Hello, faithful readers!

Finally, it's're here! The finale. The end.
   Not of the mailbag, no, but of glod and Diddgery, our muchly loved mailbag guys.
   After the mailbag, Diddgery is pursuing a career in the circus, being part of a double act where he is fired out of a cannon through a burning ring of fire, into the chest of an overweight man, who will then reveal himself to be completely unharmed.
   After the mailbag, glod is pursuing a career in the circus, being part of a double act where a horned hamster is fired out of a cannon through a burning ring of fire, and into his overweight chest.

Hello, Mailbaggers! I've always read and laughed hysterically at all the mailbags you do, but I've never felt inclined to send in a question myself.
In response to this Mailbag's question... A Mario Kart-esque Kirby game would be really weird. XD Air Ride is already kinda similar... I dunno, a new one has potential to be really good, but it could also just be really strange.
King Dedede's power could be running over people with his FAT
And Kirby could just eat drivers and hijack their cars :)
Meta-Knight has proven in the past that he's too cool to ride anything and opts to just fly around... but it'd be pretty bad-arse if he could race with Halberd >:D
As for a question... Errr...
What is the creepiest thing that has ever happened to you guys? owo
For me...
Maybe going to an anime convention. That was a mix of fun and permanent scarring. I never want to see a hairy, fat man dressed in a skirt again. *shudders*
   creepiest thing that ever happened to me was having some kid be afraid of me at an anime convention. Is it so odd for a man to wear a skirt? (BTW, i'm a bit overweight and hadn't shaved before the convention for a while)
   Some guy was dressed as me at an anime convention. He was hairy, overweight and was wearing my skirt. :(
   I saw a guy who had a severe facial deformity one time.

Dark Hamsterlord
Firstly, I apologize to Diddgery for getting his species wrong. I was confused by Mailbag#44's intro ("Diddgery has been slamming jams and lamenting about his Chaos Dunk. He has promised that he will never let anyone suffer a Chaos Dunk again. Such a brave hamster.") but I shouldn't have taken anything in that paragraph seriously, because mailbag intros are always weird. (Also, it was referencing Barkley's Shut Up and Jam Gaiden..)
Also, in accordance with the theme, The only specific thing I would want in a Mario Kart-esque Kirby is "not a baby version for every single freaking character to ever exist"
And now for my question..
Who is your favorite final boss from the Kirby series? My favorite is Dark Mind (Kirby and the Amazing Mirror) because it's cool, and you get to stab him with the Galaxia.
   Actually, Barkley's Shut Up and Jam was based on Diddgery's life, and it is canon. Tales of Games Studios could not get the rights to use 'Diddgery' in their game, so they had to rework the game to be about the next biggest superstar they COULD get the rights to-- Charles Barkley.
   Also Marx is the best final boss do not argue
   No hard feelings ever! Everyone gets my species wrong. I've been called a bear with a horn, a hamster with a horn, a horn with a bear, a hamster with a bear-horn, a goatfish, a chaos emerald, and a baby duck. I've gotten used to it, honest!
   (plus I second what glod says)
   Yeah, you can't go wrong with Marxism.
   or something

...Dang, #46 was a crazy mailbag. Just some random stuff...
-Your thoughts on Sonic RPG? Looks like it may be the first Sonic game with a story worth paying attention to.
-Hm, the number of letters proclaiming Diddgery as awesome incarnate seems to have increased. I still think it's because of the Bucky Katt fiasco, but what're your comments on that?
-Kirby Kart? I think it should be all old-school. Rick and Poppy Bros. Sr. racing on Green Greens or Rainbow Resort? I'd be interested. Heck, most other franchises don't seem ashamed to pull random characters out of the past for their spinoff games.
-A bit late, but what do you think of Turnabout Prosecutor, the AA spinoff featuring Edgeworth and Gumshoe?
That's all I can think of at the moment... Hyar out.
   I'll play the Sonic RPG most likely, but I haven't been following it that much. Diddgery is just awesome. I don't really see Kirby getting another racing game. More Ace Attorney games are always good.
   It looks interesting enough, but I'm more interesting in Sonic Unleashed.
   diddgery is hamster witha bear-horn
   Anything with Gumshoe in it has to be good, right?
   Okay, let's see. Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood is still a mystery to me, so I'll wait for it to be released and read some reviews before I consider playing it. Turnabout Prosecutor is going to be a fantastic spinoff game because Gumshoe is in it.
   Also my popularity is a mystery to even myself!

DIDDGERY!!! YOU ROCK!!! It's really too bad that you have to leave! There are few mailbaggers that really keep me reading the mailbags, and you are one of them! Keep being a cricecorn (Yes, not a hamster, I got it right!)!! Oh, by the way, you're cool too, Glod.
   Thank you for your kind words! I'll try to continue being myself, because otherwise I would be.. not... myself. (Sorry glod.)
   I know I'm not leaving or anything but you could throw a thousand compliments at me. I won't mind.

Grand Papillon
'Tis I, Grand Papillon, the Champion of Truth and Justice! I've returned again to bid farewell to the popular Mailbag Guys, Glod and Diddgery! A shame it is that they're not doing this anymore! Will this mean that the Mailbag will jump the shark like Fonzie from Happy Days!? Will new characters be added, and they're turn out to be like Cousin Oliver, Scrappy Doo, and Seven!? Oh, what a tragedgery!
I guess it wouldn't hurt to unleash some questions!
I. Any plans for this Summer!?
II. Have any of yous guys played Persona 3?
III. Any of y'all managed to beat Adventures of Lolo 1-3 without the use of a Walkthrough!?
IV. Any of y'all have a Bottom 10?
... well, that's it for now! See you again! In next week's episode, Grand Papillon goes shopping!
We'll miss you, Glod and Diddgery! Fare thee well!
   Goodbye, Grand Papillon! Your antics never fail to amuse. Though, I hope that I don't get replaced with a Scrappy. That'd just be terrible.
   I. My plan for the summer is beat Persona 3 FES. Which leads straight into the next question!
   II. I beat The Journey portion of Persona 3 FES the other day, so technically I've beaten Persona 3. I have to beat the bonus chapter, The Answer, though. Then my summer goal will be complete. ....man, my summer goal sucks.
   III. I've never played any of the Adventures of Lolo games. Though I have beaten Lolo(lo) up often in the Kirby games he appears in.
   IV. http://itsasecrettoeverybody.com/
   Grand Papillon, I honestly enjoyed your letters and responding to them! I can only hope that I'm not getting replaced by Scrappy Doo and Cousin Oliver-like characters. As for your questions... No summer plans. I do occasionally play P3.
   I don't really plan things, they just happen spontaneously.
   Like trips to the beach.
   ..though I do have a few of those planned
   My bottom 10 is published in the book, "1000 Things That Annoy Asotoku".

Well, here's that extra letter- I hope I got it in on time. So this is Diddgery's and glod's last mailbag, eh? Well, you'll be missed here... write in every now and again, heh. I don't really visit the forums, but I assume that this mailbagger reshuffling is because of website politics and such...?
Hm. Let's see... I was going to put this in the next mailbag, but I might as well use it now. So, if you could have one Kirby ability, which would it be?
Myself, I'd choose Mirror. Being able to make illusions and things of that sort would be really interesting... heck, maybe I'd take up the superhero trade. :P Some other abilities of note:
-Fighter: Vulcan Jab! Smash Punch! RISING BREAK!
-Ice: Well. Not much to say here.
-Jet: Flying is overrated, but this is a bit more than just flying around.
-Ninja: Time to get rid of those pesky pirates!... Oh, sorry, Aso. I'll spare you.
-Paint: It's like Crash, but colorful (and underused)! What's not to like?
-Sword: Some people may say that this is too plain vanilla, but heck, I like vanilla.
Oh, and one last one: Copy. Because seeing it used in real life would be great.
Once more, farewell Diddgery and glod!
   I'd have the pirate ability to get rid of pesky people who want to be ninjas to get rid of pesky pirates.
   Copy, because then you could do anything. Assuming it's Kirby's Copy where he scans stuff, not T.A.C.'s where he 'steals' enemy abilities. Bye, Hyarion.
   Not really "politics" as much as... I dunno. There's a lot of reasons why glod and I left. I don't want to get into it much. But thanks for sending another letter in to say goodbye. It's nice knowing that people enjoyed our contributions to the mailbag. (P.S. I'd pick Yo-Yo because it'd be cool to actually be able to use a yo-yo correctly.)

AUX CALL (push select)
Snake: This hamster kind of gives me the creeps.
Colonel: That's Diddgery, Snake. He's not a hamster, he's a cricecorn.
Snake: ...
Colonel: ...
Snake: ...
Colonel: Watch out for Diddgery's bite. It's not just damage you take from it.
Snake: What do you mean, Colonel?
Colonel: Diddgery loves bees. He eats whole hives of them day and night. So try not to get caught in his mouth. Once that honeybee smell gets on you, it'll stick to you for quite a while.
Snake: ...That's a scary thought.
Colonel: He also attacks by mailbagging. He can mailbag to fly around, too... if he bothers the others enough to get stuffed in the cannon, that is.
Snake: By mailbagging?! Are you kidding me?!
Colonel: Sadly, no. I am not kidding. If the mailbag starts to bulge, watch out.
   I'd be more afraid of the beestings than the honey smell. Honey smells good. Beestings don't.
   That was so totally not Dale at all.
He can spell 'hamster.'

Blue Kirby Jr
WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I LOVE DIDGERRY AND GLOD!!! THEY ARE THE BEST!!!
P.S. this message is gonna explode in 5 seconds.
   Whoa, whoa, unhand that shift key and leave those exclamation marks alone.
   uh, th- thanks? this is kind of.. um.... .... yeah
   i fell asleep

Hello snailtaggers!
Y'know, I'm wondering something....
So, your theme for one mailbag was "What should the next mailbag theme be?" Well, I'm wondering how the heck you got Kirby Kart outta' that (I never saw anyone talking about Mario Kart Kirby), but nevermind that....
Anyway. I think that items really don't cut it as far as Kirby goes. The only actual items in Kirby are the Vitamins, Maxim Tomatoes, 1-ups, Star Rod, Superspicy Curry, and some weird lemon-mango thing that makes Kirby constantly spit long-range puff of air (this only appeared in Kirby's Dreamland 1). Vehicles are really quite obvious, and stages, well....
Okay, seriously. No. Mario Kart is not doable for Kirby. The only things you could actually have as items are the Superspicy Curry and MAYBE the exploding coconut/walnut things (or bombs). If you want racing, just make another freaking Kirby Air Ride. That's as close as it will get without having to invent massive amount of stuff.
Characters, though.... I guess that's a bit more doable. Kirby, DeDeDe, Meta Knight, and perhaps Waddle Doo, Sir Kibble, and any of the other enemies with feet and hands (because they don't have arms or legs).
BUT WAIT. I'M NOT DONE, FOOLS. I have questions, too.
1. Do any of you know what the aformentioned Lime-Mango thing is called?
2. How does everyone think that Diddgery is a Hamster/Gerbil? Seriously, those animals don't have horns. And they don't eat bees. What fools.
3. What's the point of dealing with the mailbag if you can't do anything about the site? srsly.
4. What is love?
   The coconut thing you describe is actually a sweet potato. Diddgery is not a hamster. I dunno what you mean with number 3, and I'm not answering number 4.
   2) Diddgery is neither a bear or a gerbil, folks. He is a goatbearfish.
   3) I'm not getting this one, either. Me and Disaster can both edit and update the site.
   4) Waking up in the morning, looking in the mirror and realising you're me.
   1. Yeah what glod said.
   2. Sometimes people put horns on this that don't have them and maybe change other slight features to create a new animal. Like unicorns are just horses with cloven hooves and a lion tail and a horn.
   4. Haddaway.

which obscure nintendo characters would YOU like to see in captain rainbow?
   The Elite Beat Agents.
   T-they're relatively obscure, right?
Or Everdred from Earthbound.
Wait, no! The dog from Duck Hunt.
   I wanna see Doc Louis from Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! as he tries to get back into shape, since riding bikes don't cut it. Or any Punch-Out!! character, really, it doesn't matter. Also if the Balloon Fighter was in there for any reason (perhaps severe psychological trauma from being nearly eaten by a giant fish on several occasions) that'd be cool too.
   Oh man I almost forgot.
   The cat that swims in the ground from MOTHER.
   Yeah he should be in it too.
   Oh, and the Game & Watch Turtle.
   Captain Rainbow should assist the Tenda from Earthbound in being less shy. I dunno, but the premise of this game seems interesting, so I'm excited to see what'll come of it.
   Oh, and Error from Zelda.

   Closing Statements:
   don't leave me guys i love you ;_;
   I've had fun. I can only hope that my successors can make the mailbag as awesome as I did.
   Theme for the Next Mailbag: Same as last week, as we didn't address it this week.
Last Updated - 07.18.08