Ask Guru Gobbo #164

This was originally slated for a November release. Boy, how long it took for that last leg of the race to be ran. And with only seven questioners, I can assure you, this Gurus session is... yeah, pretty short with about thirteen Q's in total. Some people just like to bomb. How you're still around, TDM, 'cuz you're opening.

- December 20th, 2016

  1. TheDarkMaster
  2. Julune
  3. Kilus
  4. Kirbyfan27
  5. XerxesTexasToast
  6. ArtistGarrison
  7. CrosswerxProductions

1) In your answer to my question (Is Oohroo from Kirby Mass Attack related to Bonkers? They both seem vaguely Simian.) you missed the point entirely. When I asked if Oohroo was related to Bonkers I meant it in an evolutionary way not in a immediate way. Like how me and you are the same species (Homo Sapiens) even though we are not immediately related. If you want more proof that Bonkers and Oohroo are related they both have purple fur, aggressive behavior, and large brows. Also specist is not a thing.

- TheDarkMaster

Squeaky Bogg

Same. Answer. Effectively. And my prior words were applied to this situation as well as more familiar relation. In general, these types of questions are completely baseless, much like the prior bird comparison. At least in a situation with, say, Dark Matter/Zero and Dark Zero, one can ask "Are dems kin?" due to the naming and general eye motif? Marx Soul and Drawcia Soul? (Both have purple coloring, after all) No, that's all they share.

Again, I can just bring up the birds. Both Bird Enemy #1 and Bird Enemy #2 have wings and beaks, and they fly, too. Are they related!? ... No. Those are just traits of birds in general, much like simian have the heavy brow and anger management issues. The fur coloration is, then, the only real similarity, and I've kinda pointed out the value of such with the prior Marx example.

Only a specist would deny that specism exists.

2) Why is it that every time kirby or meta knight meet Galactic Knight he is described as the strongest warrior even though kirby and meta knight have repeatedly beaten him.

- TheDarkMaster

Squeaky Bogg

Have you ever woken from a very long slumber and been in tip-top fighting form? I sincerely doubt so, both that you awoke in top shape or have any galactic class fighting ability.

Additionally, Galactic is only the most powerful warrior on record. It's sorta like when the oldest living person dies and the new oldest person is a few years older than they were. You don't hire the most qualified candidate for a job; only the most qualified candidate who applied to the position, and so forth. How dead is this horse already?

3) Is the Kaboola a specific battleship or a class of battleships because Kaboola is seen blowing up each time kirby faces it.

- TheDarkMaster

Squeaky Bogg

4) Why can kirby Inhale a GIANT LASER BEAM but not gordos or Shotsos?

- TheDarkMaster

Squeaky Bogg

Wait, wasn't the inhalation of the giant laser in question for the final battle against Queen Sectonia in Triple Deluxe? The final leg of that confrontation has Kirby decked out in Hyper Nova. You know, the gimmick of the title that allowed Kirby to inhale anything, particularly large things that he couldn't normally inhale -- which may have actually included some Gordos.

And here I was about to waste some time answering in an over-thought out fashion. Here's a question for you: why didn't you realize that basic fact before clickin' the button?

5) Who would win in a fight Ninja Kirby or the Ninja Turtles.

- TheDarkMaster

Squeaky Bogg

Clearly the Ninja Turtles would. Not only are there four of them, but Kirby barely stands up to their calves.

Is it just me, or are these questions clearly dropping in quality?

6) I know you RAGE HATE the kirby anime, but are there any concepts, ideas, monsters, or characters that are exclusive to the anime that you would like to see in the games? One I would like to see is Red Viper( perhaps as a minibus that gives fighter) What are your thoughts on that?

- TheDarkMaster

Squeaky Bogg

In order to answer this question, I would have to have... watched the animated series. Do you not know how this whole "rage hate" thing works?

In effect, you are asking me to pick between a sniveling snail and the absolute abomination that is Tiff.

Is Adeleine's name pronounced as Adel-AYne, Adel-EYEne, or Adel-EEne? Or is this question even worth wondering about?

- Julune

Squeaky Bogg

Normally, this might be a little dicy to get the exact pronunciation, but -- luckily -- it's clearly spelled out for us in Crystal Shards with katakana. And that, unlike crummy English, is always said the same way except when it's not.

The name is officially written as [アドレーヌ for those that can display the characters] or [A do re- nu], which technically makes it none of your proposed ways. It's that weird, other E sound, or é, that no one ever really thinks of, popularized in it's butchery by Pokémon. You know how people often say poke-EE-mon? They're wrong!. Anyhoo, Ade-lEHn would be the best I can fake-pronounce-guide it.

Yoyoyo, Bimble-man, mah boggy brudda, how you been?

...I promise to NEVER do that again. Anyway, here are the inquiries...

1. Are Gordos actively malevolent, or do they just happen to be an obstacle whilst minding their own business?

- Kilus

Squeaky Bogg

Gordos -- I would say -- are like OCD cacti: "Gotta go over here. Gotta go back there. Gotto go over here." A cactus doesn't maliciously prick and stick animals that attempt to get at its sweet juices. They just... are pointy. That's what a Gordo does: have points.

2. Aside from Lolo and Lala themselves, are there any other carry-overs between Eggerland and Kirby?

- Kilus

Squeaky Bogg

Going through the general rogues gallery, it appears not. There is a skull enemy, similar to Skuller, but having a skull enemy is a rather basic trope in video games. Strangely, there is also one that looks very much like Blocky. It maybe be coincidence, as a packed-in, small sprite of a square, blockish thing kinda is gonna look like any other.

Is it possible for Dark Matter to reproduce?

- Kirbyfan27

Squeaky Bogg

I believe that Dark Matter reproduces through a form of mitosis or budding, a fission process that reduces the initial size of the main body but generates a secondary body that then -- allegedly -- can grow, sometimes large enough to engulf an entire planet. In Dream Lands 2 & 3, we are told (outside of the game) that it was merely a scout that Kirby battled. In The Crystal Shards, we are shown several more of these scouts being splintered off to chase down Ribbon.

And if you want the dirty details, then just go over to some fan fiction website. I'm sure there will be some eighty million stories up to your specifications.

In an earlier "Ask the Gurus" post, you mentioned that the Dark Matter have individual names.

Now, I'm a huge Dark Matter nerd, and I'm always a fan of arcane sources of retro-era canon. I never saw these things in K64 myself, so I'd love to know your source for this information so I can research it myself. Was it K64's in-game text, ripped filenames, physical manual, or website? And which language version was it from? I'd like to know whether I have to scour the internet for Japanese Kirby manuals over winter break.

- XerxesTexasToast

Squeaky Bogg

For a bit of self-correction in my prior answer (now taking the time to bother to pull up the right stuff), the three scouts sent from Zero to chase down Ribbon and the Crystal as she flees Ripple Star are referred to as Dark Rimura, Rimuro, and Rimuru. They do not appear to have any visible differences (that I can tell, although there might be some difference in their... pupils?) but do each possess one of Kirby's friends: King Dedede, Waddle Dee, and Adeleine.

The source, originally, I thought came from this very site, but then I couldn't find any mention of that here (Mandela effect?). While it could be buried somewhere -- just not the "games/kirby64" directory -- I went to my go-to source of verification/maybe where I first got it. Here's my secret:

1) Go to Wikipedia. 2) Look up a Kirby title. 3) Click the Japanese language page link (helps if you know what "Japanese" looks like in Japanese: 日本語). 4) Translate the page into English.

The pages, obviously, are not written in the same format with just a different translation. There is different information between the two languages, and Japan has a lot juicier of information. This has the Rimura, etc., so I know I wasn't crazy and imagining it. Well, I'm still crazy, but ya know.

Hello! I assume that in Robobot or any other subsequent games, you've stumbled into the Jukebox mode Yeah? My question to you, Guru, what is your favorite Song from the most recent titles of the 2010s? Me? It'd probably be Frosty Wheel's stage theme from Epic Yarn. For Boss themes, I'd probably go with the most recent Installment's Fight theme with the first form of Star Dream.

- ArtistGarrison

Squeaky Bogg

When it comes to favorites, I've stated how I don't care to pick them. Music is further complicated by the fact that it isn't blatantly given with the attached name. Heck, raised in the rock'n'roll capital of the world, there are plenty of tunes that my ears were nurtured upon to which I didn't know the title to let alone the author of origin. Keep in mind, this was before car radios got all fancy and displayed that information. Of course, that's as fancy as I imagine things getting. I guess a lot of you whippersnappers would say "Radio?" before cranking the volume on your Skinner Boxes to drown out my ... typed words?

Anyhoo, salvaged what little of this mess I can, methinks that the latest title to really please my ear drums was Mass Attack. It was an overall pleasant title, I'd say, and the tunes were lickin'. Or, kickin'? ... Hickin', is that a thing? Pickin', I'd assume if it were guitar based solely. I don't know what nickin' would be, but it doesn't sound good. And don't even get me started on the few good consonants left.

Okay. I REALLY need to get this off my chest. One time, under a different name, I misused the Kirby Gurus section by asking Ivyna J. Spyder a trivia question from Kirby Right Back At Ya episode 64: what attacked Cappy Town at one point: owls, sunfish, hamsters or sheep; the correct answer was sheep, but she guessed sunfish. She was just joking, but I don't want anyone to get confused, so PLEASE post this on the next edition of Kirby Gurus!

- CrosswerxProductions

Squeaky Bogg

Uhhh... Sure. There ya go.

Wow, you were hanging onto this since ol' Ivy J. was still relevant? That's had to be a number of years now since I got into this -- sweet dang -- six some years ago. Dag, yo, Crosswerx, how'd you live with that guilt? The weight had to sink a hole into your chest after all this time. You could store, I dunno, some small bags of snacks in there to munch on during a movie. In way, you're welcome for your deformity.

Boy, I've held off on these letters for some time, but now the slate is (technically) clean for the next year. See you -- given the current trend -- in March, kiddos. Until next time, enjoy your winter solstice festivities, and remember that your Germanic horned nature deities like cookies, too. Who doesn'it, amiright?.

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Rate Gobbo's Session #164:66% -0+

12 comments have been posted (Add Your Own):

That was... odd.

Comment by Keeby64 on 11:55pm Dec 20th, 2016 (Report| Reply)

Obviously we're going to have to do a mustard mountain of research into the evolutionary history of species from Kirby.

And of course I mean Kirby as in the character. He's over there, just kind of spitting up all kinds of crazy creatures. I don't even know.

Of course, we all know it's impossible to build new battleships, and that also characters who explode in video games can never come back. That's why everyone in the Mario & Luigi games are dead.

Wow. I think question 5 indicates the Mailbag had better return or 2017 won't have a stellar Guru question quality.


Comment by Duth Olec on 6:03pm Dec 21st, 2016 (Report| Reply)

I love how People act like just because i ask a question they disagree with the merit of they automatically think it shows a bleak future.

Response by The Dark Master (Guest) on 3:04pm Jan 6th, 2017 (Report| Reply)

I'm definitely People! I suppose to be fair I've remarked on such things before and Bimblesnaff said it was okay, but I still feel Mailbag is a better home for questions that can't particularly be answered definitively.

But hey, it is 'Snaff's Guruzing. Or maybe just Guruing. If he thinks a question is good enough for Gurus, I won't question his judgment.

Response by Duth Olec on 8:03pm Jan 6th, 2017 (Report| Reply)

Thanks, I have had a bad day. A person by the name of Billy Bong doxed my close friend Kraut and Tea's girlfriend.

Response by TheDarkMaster (Guest) on 5:21pm Jan 8th, 2017 (Report| Reply)

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Last Updated - December 20th, 2016