Bimblesnaff Rants

Marx is the Sucx

When Super Star came out, in 1995, I hated Marx. Why would anyone like him? He was just some guy who appeared abruptly at the start of a game, then suddenly again at the end, and became the final boss. He was rather lame. Still, over time my appreciation for this li'l bugger grew. After all, once he hit double digits in age, he was suddenly old school and only sweated by equally old beans and people down with SNES. Then, Super Star Ultra came out, geeked out the sheep, and now I hate him again. And you should, too.

This isn't an "abandon one flock for another" type of thing, either. This is purely, "I have compiled lists of testimony to why this is and always has been a terrible character who deserves no respect from the fans and is questionable as to why it was conceived in the first place." When a sentence gets that long, you know it means business.

So, what is Marx? The character is a joke. I literally gave everything he did in the games above. That's two games with over a decade between them, and his life accomplishments amount to a short list. He honestly appears at the start of a sub-game only to appear right at the end and take up the mantle of big, bad boss man. There's no build-up and no shocking twist that is present in the rest of the series. It just happens and nearly without reason. That's not cool. What ever happened to turns of events like King Dedede trying to protect the Dream Spring by snatching the Star Rod? What ever happened to surprises like King Dedede not actually being evil but being possessed? Actually, they all involve King Dedede, it seems.

I'm reminded of an observation regarding Kirby's animated series in which, whenever he gets a friend or pet, he ultimately winds up having to destroy it. It's supposed to bank on a quick emotional heart string pull, but it doesn't amount to much when the friendship lasted the whole of one episode. There's no investment if there's no time. If the seed was planted for a few shows or most of a season, a feat far too complex for a children's show, I know, it'd have a better pay off.

That's exactly what Marx is: pointless and without fanfare. Who cares if some guy you never heard of before pops out of no where and turns into the main boss? There's no reason to be concerned or care. It might as well have been some creature from a black hole that pitted the sun and moon against each other to create chaos and take over Pop Star. It could have been anything else and wouldn't have mattered. No, it was gone about entirely wrong.

The thing that makes it such a crime is that it could have been done right. They had an entire game, several in truth, to build up the character of Marx. Rather than bouncing out at the start of Milky Way Wishes, he could have appeared in Dyna-Blade. "Hey, Kirby, that Dyna-Blade is taking all our food. Help us!" He could have even been added to Spring Breeze, even if just in the background. "It was King Dedede. Go get 'im, buddy." That's right, buddy. They could have made Marx out to be Kirby's little pal, going as far to include him in the instruction manual.

"This is Marx. He's Kirby's number one fan and best friend." That would have been great to have seen in the booklet. Even if not in the whole game, he could have appeared now and again in Wishes, at least, to remind people that he was there. It could have been anything: standing by a door, activating a switch, or even just standing there at the start of a level to say if any abilities were missed. There are countless simple things he could have done to make his presence more significant.

Think how great that would have been. Instead of asking, "Who is Marx?" at the start of Milky Way Wishes and again at the end, before remembering it was that guy at the start that you asked the same question for, there would be no way to know. Out of the blue, Kirby's little solo-pep squad who had been cheering him on and encouraging him on all his adventures suddenly shoves him out of the way and gains ultimate power! Now that would be a twist and a half. It would have been a sucker punch from no where rather than a happening for no reason like was used in the games. It would have mattered that this Marx person crossed Kirby and tricked him. There'd be something more to the matter. People could care.

But, no. Instead, we get some guy who arrives unannounced to appear suddenly and then dies and comes back to life out of no where. It's like they thought bringing him back to life would resurrect any reason to care that he was alive in the first place. That's all Marx is, spontaneous events without reason or explanation. It's no wonder the younger generation likes him. They love random garbage.

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Last Updated - February 9th, 2009