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LET'S PRAY! Magi's Great Earthbound Epic (Chapters 1-14) - Kirby's Rainbow Resort

Kirby's Rainbow Resort

Welcome back, Kirby fans. We missed us.
It is currently August 5th, 2020, 9:02 am

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PostPosted: January 29th, 2008, 9:50 pm 
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Industrial strength Male
Industrial strength
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Joined: December 11th, 2003, 7:20 pm
Posts: 1159
Favorite Kirby Game: Kirby Super Star Ultra
Location: Fourside
Hello everyone! Inspired by Glod's THIEF'S Awakening, I have embarked on a journey of my own.



MAGI MYSTERIOUSLY ENTERS THE WORLD OF EARTHBOUND.

Let's meet our cast.


Magi! The hero of our story. A 13 year old scamp who is just bursting with psychic energy. You might know it as puberty.


Asotoku! Transformed into a girl in a freak welding accident, Aso will provide the sex appeal of our team of heroes.


Revor! Also known as Diddgery, he will be playing the role of our science officer. Yes ladies, he's single.


glod! Hailing from some country nobody cares about, his ancient and wise ways will surely be an asset to our group.


oh and dale is a dog i guess

And now, let us begin:
Magi's Great Earthbound Epic:
Prolouge - A Rock and a Bee

Our story begins...


We're gonna party like it's 199X. Man, I can't wait until New Year 199Y.


Coincidentally, the national bird is not the eagle. It is in fact, the flamingo.


Here I am, sleeping in my bed, dreaming of robbing liquor stores, when suddenly...


A meteorite crashes into the ground! I am startled and confused. I decide to go investigate.


Mother suggests I change clothes. I want to say no, but I think she knocks me out and dresses me herself, because the next thing I know I'm in my room fully clothed.


I decide to steal a bat from my sister's room.


At the site of the crash, I meet the local ass, Pokey. He shoos me away in between bites of a hoagie. I return home and go back to sleep.


I am awoken by a knock at the door. My mom distresses over it while expressing sovereignty over our land.


Oh god please don't let it be Pokey, please don't let it be Pokey...


SON OF A @*^!#!


Turns out his brother Picky is stranded at the meteorite site. I agree to go with him since Pokey has no other friends. Also, who the hell names their son Picky?


I drag Dale the dog along too.

Oh, the phone is ringing! It's dad. What does he want can't you see I'm in a hur-

Sweet


Along the way we meet a stray dog, whose face I introduce a bat to. Screw you, PETA!


At the top Dale turns into a wuss and bails out.


Alright, we found Picky. Now time to get ou-


No Pokey I don't you're fat why are you talking I hate you


Okay so I was wrong. Whatever, after this future not-bee tells us about ruin and devastation in the future, blah blah blah, four heroes to save the world, blah blah, we head back home.


The local pedophile tries to woo me with promises of candy, but I'm on to him.


This day just keeps getting worse and worse.


Man, Buzz-Buzz, I should keep you around forever! I'm sure that'll happen, right?


Aloysius Minch tells it like it is.


You can't hurt Buzz-Buzz he's a time-traveling super bee! A creepy old woman can't hurt you!


YA THINK?


I don't want to be friends with you anymore.


Oh, great, a rock. That's what you leave me in your will? You are the worst friend ever.


I need a drink.

So concludes the prologue. Next time: Chapter 1 - Man About Town

_________________


| | | |
September 17, 2007. Support our troops !!!!4 YEARS!!!!


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PostPosted: January 29th, 2008, 10:14 pm 
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ROYAL RAINBOW Female
ROYAL RAINBOW
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Joined: December 4th, 2003, 1:32 am
Posts: 4447
Favorite Kirby Game: Kirby's Dream Land 3
Location: Probably somewhere
Oh Pokey that fat of fatty fat.

P.S. I am the best character in the game, that much is assured. I gots BOTTLE ROCKETS


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PostPosted: January 29th, 2008, 10:55 pm 
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Life, the universe, and everything. Male
Life, the universe, and everything.

Joined: February 17th, 2007, 12:12 pm
Posts: 42
Favorite Kirby Game: Kirby Super Star Ultra
Location: Underwear. I just made you say "under there".
Man, if you don't make a joke about how the Sound Stone disappears out of your inventory, never to return, randomly.

_________________



What is love?


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PostPosted: January 30th, 2008, 1:09 am 
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a friendly ghost A_mystery
a friendly ghost

Joined: October 7th, 2003, 7:08 pm
Posts: 2408
Favorite Kirby Game: Kirby Super Star Ultra
Location: San Diego, CA
You won't see me for a while.


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PostPosted: January 30th, 2008, 8:29 am 
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The most effectual Male
The most effectual
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Joined: February 9th, 2007, 10:39 pm
Posts: 2695
Favorite Kirby Game: Kirby & the Amazing Mirror
Location: Wherever
I love these threads.


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PostPosted: January 30th, 2008, 3:43 pm 
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Li'l Traveler Male
Li'l Traveler

Joined: February 18th, 2007, 10:59 am
Posts: 195
Favorite Kirby Game: Kirby's Dream Land 2
Location: I can't think of anything funny...
This is awsome!

More awso than glod's...

_________________

Banner made by Chooch. You rock pal!


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PostPosted: January 30th, 2008, 5:11 pm 
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smoked cheese <:3c Female
smoked cheese <:3c

Joined: October 7th, 2003, 7:02 pm
Posts: 1298
Location: Seattle, home of all the world's evils
No magic lass?

This thread is boring. :<


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PostPosted: January 30th, 2008, 5:55 pm 
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a friendly ghost A_mystery
a friendly ghost

Joined: October 7th, 2003, 7:08 pm
Posts: 2408
Favorite Kirby Game: Kirby Super Star Ultra
Location: San Diego, CA


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PostPosted: January 30th, 2008, 6:41 pm 
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Shooting Star Male
Shooting Star

Joined: September 28th, 2004, 7:05 pm
Posts: 1121
Favorite Kirby Game: Kirby's Adventure
Location: Not at KRR (basically a lie)
that reminds me


I need to level up for another hour in the Lost Underworld or whatever the dinosaur place is called.









also, this is good! Much better than the lame Oracle of Ages (Seasons?) one.


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PostPosted: January 30th, 2008, 7:24 pm 
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Dark King Male
Dark King

Joined: April 16th, 2005, 3:18 pm
Posts: 1466
Favorite Kirby Game: Kirby Super Star Ultra
Location: Cardiff, Wales


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PostPosted: January 30th, 2008, 7:38 pm 
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Shooting Star Male
Shooting Star

Joined: January 8th, 2006, 10:19 pm
Posts: 1036
Location: Yoh!

_________________
"Obviously you're not a golfer."



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PostPosted: January 30th, 2008, 9:19 pm 
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ROYAL RAINBOW Female
ROYAL RAINBOW
User avatar

Joined: December 4th, 2003, 1:32 am
Posts: 4447
Favorite Kirby Game: Kirby's Dream Land 3
Location: Probably somewhere
Actually Aso, all the main characters of EarthBound are somewhere around 12~14.


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PostPosted: January 30th, 2008, 9:49 pm 
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Industrial strength Male
Industrial strength
User avatar

Joined: December 11th, 2003, 7:20 pm
Posts: 1159
Favorite Kirby Game: Kirby Super Star Ultra
Location: Fourside

_________________


| | | |
September 17, 2007. Support our troops !!!!4 YEARS!!!!


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PostPosted: January 30th, 2008, 9:53 pm 
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Shooting Star Male
Shooting Star

Joined: January 8th, 2006, 10:19 pm
Posts: 1036
Location: Yoh!

_________________
"Obviously you're not a golfer."



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PostPosted: February 1st, 2008, 4:11 am 
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Dark King Male
Dark King

Joined: April 16th, 2005, 3:18 pm
Posts: 1466
Favorite Kirby Game: Kirby Super Star Ultra
Location: Cardiff, Wales


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PostPosted: February 1st, 2008, 12:15 pm 
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Shooting Star Male
Shooting Star

Joined: January 8th, 2006, 10:19 pm
Posts: 1036
Location: Yoh!

_________________
"Obviously you're not a golfer."



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PostPosted: February 1st, 2008, 2:16 pm 
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Industrial strength Male
Industrial strength
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Joined: December 11th, 2003, 7:20 pm
Posts: 1159
Favorite Kirby Game: Kirby Super Star Ultra
Location: Fourside
Chapter 1 - Man About Town


After a horrible night, I decide to head home to catch some Z's.


What the hell.


Oh, I thought you were going to rape me or something.


SMILE FOR THE CAMERA.


viewtopic.php?f=10&t=234619

So, after sleeping and eating some delicious sandwiches, I head into town. First to the library to get a map, since...the library only lends out maps for some reason.


OH GOD IT'S SEVEN YEARS OVERDUE ALREADY.


There are sharks in the arcade?!? Have sharks evolved to the point where they can walk and survive on land? AND they can play arcade games? All is lost!


Doing my best hobo impression, I big through the garbage and salvage a hamburger. It may have some mold on it, but I'm not picky.


"No, but I am!" *rimshot*


A young lad in the treehouse likes me. He REALLY likes me.


The drugstore sells baseball bats?!? What an age we live in.


A local ruffian hunts me down like the Predator.


His mad hula-hoop skillz prove too much for me, and I am brutally murdered.


However, being immortal, I come back for another go.


Round 2!


Remember kids: the way to stop gang violence is to beat them mercilessly with baseball bats.


Detroit is famous for cars, Onett is famous for roadblocks. Can't win 'em all, I guess.


No, not really.


Oh...I guess I did.


Battling my way through hordes of latchkey children has made me the man I am today.


Feeling on top of the world, I enter the arcade. Turns out the Sharks is the name of the gang, and are not actually landsharks. It's a mistake anyone could have made.


One of them seeks revenge for a fallen comrade.


HEY YOU CANNOT USE A POGO STICK IN AN ARCADE I AM GOING TO ALERT THE MANAGEMENT IMMEDIATELY.


At least take me out to dinner first!


This gentleman asks me to join this fine organization. I hear their health and retirement plans are excellent, so I enthusiastically accept.


NO! YOU'RE BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL! YOU'RE BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!

After a little persuasion, the man moves out of the way and lets me through. If I want to become a member of the Sharks, I'll just have to take out their leader! Then I will be the leader! I will rule all of Onett!


Turns out the leader is a man in his 30s wearing a bad suit. Ask yourself, Frank, where did your life go wrong?


Ow! God, a KNIFE? All I'm doing it bashing your skull in, but you decide to use a knife? You could really hurt someone with that!


Oh no you di'int.


Aside from being a creepy old man who is surrounded by children, Frank also dabbles in robotics.


The robot was apparently made of tin cans and foil taped together with duct tape. It moves an inch and falls apart. Frank bursts into tears.


That's an understatement.

Frank tells me of a large footprint on the mountain north of Onett. Hoping to make a fortune by catching a picture of Bigfoot, I go ask the mayor for permission to continue.


I smell death on you.


The mayor winks and says he'll meet me at the shack tonight, and to come alone. I wonder what that's supposed to mean?! Oh mayor, you're a card.


And so the next leg of my journey begins.

Next time:
Chapter 2 - The First Sanctuary

_________________


| | | |
September 17, 2007. Support our troops !!!!4 YEARS!!!!


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PostPosted: February 1st, 2008, 2:59 pm 
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ROYAL RAINBOW Female
ROYAL RAINBOW
User avatar

Joined: December 4th, 2003, 1:32 am
Posts: 4447
Favorite Kirby Game: Kirby's Dream Land 3
Location: Probably somewhere
I have learned not to read this at school. I thought I could get through without laughing out loud, but I got to your bit on Frank Fly and just about lost it. I'm sure my classmates are wondering why I was stifling so much laughter...

Good show, Magi my man.


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PostPosted: February 2nd, 2008, 5:55 pm 
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Industrial strength Male
Industrial strength
User avatar

Joined: December 11th, 2003, 7:20 pm
Posts: 1159
Favorite Kirby Game: Kirby Super Star Ultra
Location: Fourside
Chapter 2 - The First Sanctuary


Using the key from Mayor B. H. Pirkle, I open the door to the shack.


A traveling entertainer (whose talent I can only assume is juggling chainsaws on a unicycle while playing the harmonica) gave me a worthless item.


Life is hard when you're an entertainer.


Upon entry into the cave, a curious mouse came up to me and said hello!


Well hello there, Rowdy Mouse! How are you doing today? You want to fight? You want to die? Well, alright!


You are such a weak mouse! This battle is going to be a snap.


OW GOD WHAT. YOU JUMPED AT ME AND WENT STRAIGHT FOR MY NECK! YOU PUNCTURED MY JUGULAR I'M BLEEDING EVERYWHERE. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP OH GOD OH GOD.


Battle with horrible mice and ants who never stop calling for their friends until I am DEAD has left me bruised and battered. I eat a hamburger and my wounds mysteriously heal. Who knew?


A mouse guards a present fervently.


Okay...it was apparently two of them. Whatever, no problem right? I can take them!


SON OF A @*^!#.


Back in the cave, a small cliff contains a butterfly that injects morphine directly into my bloodstream. I've never felt better.


Oh, what's this? I've learned the power of ANIMU? What is this mysterious spell?


A giant ball of light blocks my ascent. We engage battle.


So the light turned out to be a giant ant. A..."titanic" ant, if you will.


It's a perfect opportunity to use the power of ANIMU~ ^_^


It was at this point I realize that the substance I was injected with from the butterfly was not morphine, but in fact was a strong dose of LSD.


Angered at the loss of his ant comrades, the Titanic Ant tries to use a magnet to suck out my metal fillings.


My beatings prove too much, and the Titanic Ant sinks like the USS Maine.


The giant footstep hums a tune to me.


My mission here is complete. Also: Dale was never cute.


After exiting the cave, a police officer is enraged at my illiteracy. He demands I come down to the police station for a dose of police brutality.


I know it's the police station because it has the word "POLICE" on it.


"A meteorite destroyed my house! BAAAAAAAWWWW!"


Captain Strong supports childhood obesity. After he chortles, he leads me to the back room.


What is it with middle-aged men wanting to beat me up?


I bring out a piece of kryptonite and the officer is brought to his knees.


You obviously have me confused with Pokey.


Captain Strong's made-up martial art is imposing, but I keep my composure.


Here he is folks, the finest police officer in all of Onett. I sing him a lullaby.


After Strong falls asleep, my bat has its way with him.


You know you have a problem if your police force is brought down by a 13-year old boy with a baseball bat, and when their captain is put to sleep and then clonked over the head. This town is SCREWED.


After I effectively become King of Onett, the Roadblocks that God Crafted are taken down, and I begin my journey to Twoson.

Next time:
Chapter 3 - It Takes Two to Tango

_________________


| | | |
September 17, 2007. Support our troops !!!!4 YEARS!!!!


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PostPosted: February 2nd, 2008, 10:23 pm 
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ROYAL RAINBOW Female
ROYAL RAINBOW
User avatar

Joined: December 4th, 2003, 1:32 am
Posts: 4447
Favorite Kirby Game: Kirby's Dream Land 3
Location: Probably somewhere
I always wondered why magic butterflies made you relax. Now I know.


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