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Wait, did that thing explode after sniffing your 'magic powder'?
Yes.
Back at the Tail Cave...
Level 1-- Tail Cave.
Let's go right first, THIEF. I mean, left.
These guys suck because you can't hurt them except for knocking them in a pit. Which THIEF duly does so!
Rewards from the heavens! It's a Small Key.
In the next room THIEF spies a chest, but these green sausage things appear out of !@#$% nowhere. THIEF, always after a fortune, slays these creatu
HELL YEAH
Oh hey it's the Compass too.
hell yeah THIEF backtracks a little bit.
And heads north.
More helmet things and more sausages. Except these sausages turn into Lil' Smokies when you kill them and crawl on you, slowing your movement and preventing item usage. THIEF takes at least three of them out, and one does a suicide leap off of THIEF's head. Let's try the button in the middle.
Another chest. THIEF has an eye for these things. Perhaps he should change his name to TREASURE HUNTER.
Off to the right of that room, there's another with some skeletons and bats. Also take note of the person-shaped imprint to the north. It's important.
Killing all the guys makes another chest appear. With a map inside. AT LAST BECAUSE I WAS LOOKING FOR SOOOO LONG.
This hole... It feels like it was made for me...
DRR... DRR... DRR... (if you got this set of jokes you are cool :>)
That indent shaped like a person was actually a door. You sit inside it and it spins around and spits you out to the next room. Cool, no? I wish they still had these in Zelda games.
Off to the left we find another chest, guarded by a shiny thing and a wormy thing. But more heavily guarded by another shiny thing that actually circles around the chest. By the way I have no way to kill these shiny things yet. (By the way, they look lame in screenshots because in-game they blink in a seizuriffic Porygon Electric Soldier kinda way.)
Eee, I hate grabbing this chest but since it's a key you kinda have to.
More to the left, another worm and some holes. THIEF's treasure chest radar in his mind tells him the left wall is brittle and will break with a Bomb blast. Too bad we don't have those yet, buddy... Maybe you can steal some later. For now, we kill the worm.
A chest appears containing 20 Rupees. JOY!
Up from there we have a sliding blade of death that tries to rape THIEF every time he runs past it. But he makes it and unlocks the door.
This room is actually two screens long and nothing interesting happened in either of them
These guys kick THIEF's ass a little because I forgot how to kill them. Sword doesn't work. Also we have an Owl Statue with no beak up north.
Oh yeah, you have to bump them with your shield first. My bad. THIEF takes these guys out easy now.
A staircase appears after they both die. A staircase to...
THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM? What the hell!
Or maybe it was just the basement level. Oh well. Back upstairs on the other side of the hallway..
A heart with wings in a long hallway. THIEF can't get to it, not that he needs it anyways, he just wants it because he's a greedy @#!@#!@.
Oh boy! What the hell does it do? "Your body feels lighter"? IS THIS CHEST FEELING THIEF UP?
oh THIEF can jump now. Fitting for the Mushroom Kingdom, so THIEF can actually stomp on Goombas now.
THIEF backtracked a lot to get to this room, now let's go north.
This block here is like a door except it's a block instead. Insert a key and it disappears. I never understood why THIEF can't just climb over it or something.
This is like the Boss Key except instead of being called a Boss it's a Nightmare. woo. Now back to that one locked door..
More shiny things I can't kill but only stare at their rapist smiles helplessly. NORTH, THIEF, HURRY
Oh these @#!@#!@. I always had trouble with them. Basically you have to hit each one to make them show the same playing card symbol.
[insert minutes and minutes of toiling around trying to kill these guys here]
Oh hey it's a Stone Beak! It fits in those owl statues we've been seeing. Too bad we're almost done with the dungeon or this might have been useful! :101grin: Now back one screen and to the right, we find...
MINIBOSS
Basically THIEF just has to jump over his... rolling pin thing, and slash at him.
Good job, THIEF! Maybe you can make it to the Olympics with Mario and Sonic!
Aaaand he's done. He explodes and a fairy pops out. THIEF eats it and refills his hearts.
Uhoh. You can tell this is the boss door because it's fancier than all the others.
BUZZ!!BUZZ!! NATIONALIZZZZM!! BUZZ!! BUZZ!! AMERICAN PARTY!! BUZZ!! BUZZ!! KNOW-NOTHINGSZZZ!!
Shiny tail you got there. It's his weak point. But after THIEF whacks it, the boss goes crazy and moves fast and...
Knocks him into the pit. @$#^
Back upstairs and into the room again...
TAKE THAT YOU WHORE
THIEF comes out on top, the beast explodes and leaves his heart behind.
THIEF adds it to his collection. In the next room...
Woah, cello! Gnarly! THIEF, we should pawn this thing o
WHAT THE HELL IT'S PLAYING ITSELF
OH MY GOD EVERYTHING'S GETTING WHITE
...
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