Kirby's Rainbow Resort

In order to make up for what happened with Dragon Warrior Monsters 2: Revor's Journey, I am going to play through another game. I know I said "Final Fantasy 1," but... I'm sure that's been done before. Besides, this way I won't have to take so many screenshots since there's not a lot of text, and the game shouldn't take too long to complete since it's not particularly difficult. Besides, it's the only Hamtaro game that isn't on the DS that I have not beaten yet, so I might as well play it. Since there isn't much to go by I'll be making up my own story to go with it. And because of that, it probably won't be super-funny or anything, so if you want funny stick with THIEF's Adventure or Magi's Mother 2 Mania.

Anyways... Let's begin! HOO-HA

Prologue: Welcome to Crazy Hamster World!

One morning I awoke, feeling a bit different than usual. Something was off. Something was different, but what? And then, it hit me: Somehow I had become a small orange-and-white hamster overnight.

...Well, at least I wasn't a cockroach.

Looking around, I realized that I have not only changed forms, but have also changed locations as well. I was now in what looked like a children's clubhouse. Normally I'd be excited to play around in a place like this, but I was still a bit confused by the whole "waking-up-as-a-hamster" thing.


As I investigated my new surroundings, I spotted another hamster, mumbling something to himself. I approached him, and I guess he heard me because almost immediately he whirled around to face me.


I was rendered speechless and very afraid. This hamster was bigger than me, and that hard hat and torn right ear suggested that he was a TOUGH CUSTOMER.


NO LEAVE ME ALONE SCARY HAMSTER MAN
DON'T NARROW YOUR EYES AT ME LIKE THAT, I DON'T WANT TO DIE


The other hamster blushed and asked for my name. I was rather surprised by this, since... well, normally when I run into something larger and more intimidating than myself, they want to eat me.


Timidly I squeaked out a pseudonym based on one of my characters, but I forgot one of the d's. I think it's for the best if he doesn't know my REAL name.


Then he asked me to find some ham, twice.


I was about to ask the scary hamster man to clarify what he meant by "Ham-Ham," but he immediately delved into nonsense about some sort of pig-talk.


So I demonstrated my confusion to this situation the only way I know how: By tilting my head slightly and making a cute noise of some sort. It worked before, it'll work again.


I like how he assumes that I know everything and didn't just randomly teleport here in my sleep.


O-oh. Now I'm going to learn how to talk like a pig from a large, intimidating hamster... what have I gotten into?


W-why? I... I fear for my safety.


P-please.. I'm smaller than you, and weaker, and...


Oh! Instead of beating me to a pulp (or worse), he presented me with a notebook he found in a dumpster. He says it's brand-new, but it's grimy and smells like tacos and cigarette smoke. Fearing his wrath, I took it anyways... I'm not sure where I stored it, though, since I don't wear any clothes. Maybe being a hamster gives me magic powers.


He then taught me how to say "hello" in the language of pigs.


Then he curled into a ball and smashed into a potted plant. I laughed at him.. and then realized that he was teaching me how to do a barrel roll for a reason. Needless to say I ended up with a headache.


I'm not sure why I have to say this word when I sniff the air. The big hamster told me that it's how Ham-Chat works, but I think it's kind of silly. I mean, it's not like people have to yell out the names of their attacks before using them, right?
...Waaaaiiit..


I don't enjoy getting dirty, but if it will please the terrifying hamster...


The big hamster quickly got fed-up with this slow learning process. He grabbed the notebook and jotted down a few Ham-Chat words, expecting me to be able to master them on my own. I would say he's a big jerk, but I don't want him to give me a concussion with that shovel he had in the first screenshot.


I JUST GOT HERE
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YO--
please don't hurt me


I asked if I have a room too. He said no. Then he said yes. I'm not sure which is true. Maybe he's trying to play mind games.


He then showed me to the door and demanded that I find the lunchmeat he mentioned before. Armed with my new ability to speak the language of pigs, I got out of the clubhouse as fast as I could and ran far, far away.

Unfortunately, being a tiny hamster, I couldn't travel very far without becoming tired. While stopping to rest at a small stream, I realized something: I had no idea where I was. Another hamster was resting by the same stream, a makeshift fishing pole in his paws. Ignoring that he wouldn't be able to catch anything bigger than a tadpole, I asked him about my location.

He said I was in Japan. So... I had become a hamster and was transported to Japan. It's a good thing I can speak hamster, otherwise I would be in a lot of trouble.

But... how did this happen? I don't know. All I know is that there's no escape for me, and the only sanctuary I have is with that crazy fat hamster guy who wants me to collect pieces of ham. I guess that's all I can do for now...

END OF PROLOGUE

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This is an interesting turn of events.

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Magi's Great Earthbound Epic! Chapter 14 is out! Read it to spite Pokey!
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It sure is.

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Our time is now. Let us enjoy it to the fullest.
Trying to be more active. Let's see how that works out.[/right]

Already ready with the next episode. Bing-bong!
Also, for those that have already read the first one.. I reworked it. At first I was trying to have it be Diddgery the character giving the story, but I decided it'd work better if I was narrating it as though it was myself turned into a hamster.

Chapter 1: Snakes and Stones May Break My Bones, But Ham-Chat Makes Me Look Like A Doof

I spent a bit of time wandering about aimlessly before coming across a place known as the "Acorn Shrine." I'm not sure why it's called that - there's a couple acorn trees, but I don't see any shrines.


As I entered the so-called shrine, this white hamster called out to me.


Ham..aritan? But you don't look anything like a pig. Maybe.. maybe "Ham-Hams" aren't pigs at all. Huh. That big hamster should've been more clear about this.
The hamster went on to babble about acorns, but I stopped caring and wandered onwards.


I learned to count with sunflower seeds. See, I started with 10 as a gift from that one hamster, and then I found one more, so now I have 11. Isn't math FUN!?


I got a rock.


When I walked into the next area, a girl hamster with blue ribbons spotted me. Instantly her eyes became all sparkly and she cried my name. How does she know my name?! This is getting weirder by the minute.


She then proceeded to blush and run off, but not before challenging me to catch up with her. I didn't want to since I found her particularly creepy, but I assumed that because her face portrait had shiny eyes she must be one of the Ham-Hams that the bossy hamster (let's just call him "Boss") wanted me to find.

..I guess I have no choice but to follow her.


But first, I decided to dig in a suspicious-looking location next to a signpost. Let's see...


I discovered a secret underground hamster clothing store!! This world's pretty crazy. It's like it was made for hamsters or something. Or at least it's like the hamsters are very industrial. But why would hamsters need clothes?


Regardless, I bought a Chef's Hat because this is the first time I've ever been able to purchase clothing specifically tailored to my needs. And because chef hats are AWESOME. Also I guess sunflower seeds are currency here.


After leaving the store I ran into this girl hamster. She mumbled something about wanting to meet the love of her life and how she wants him to be "Mega-Q." That sounds like a new word for the dictionary!


It.. it means "big." I guess she likes fat men.


As I continued chasing that hamster, I learned several more Ham-Chat words, each one with a more embarrassing action than the last. Why must I shake my butt when I say "koochi-q?" ...Oh god, I just did it again. I hate you, crazy hamster language!


FINALLY
...
oh, she just ran away again. Stupid, stupid hamster girl!


I also learned a word that I have already used before in this entry.


STOP RUNNING
As I continued investigating, I spotted a rather suspicious hole...


SNAKE?! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!


I finally caught up with the ribbon-hamster. She was hiding behind a tree and blushing a lot. I am afraid that she might like me. I'll have to sabotage our relationship by dropping some spiders on her.

So I did. I didn't take a picture, so I apologize.


She dropped a rock. I tried giving her my rock, but she apparently doesn't take regular rocks. She's pretty stuck-up.


.... precious...
I need to get out of here before she sees this! I want it for myself! It's mine! My precious, precious rock..


Aww, I was going to keep that. Don't "Thank-Q" me!


I gave her a super-hamster uppercut. She seemed to enjoy it. Could she be masochistic as well?


I begrudgingly escorted her back to the Clubhouse. Then I called her fat.


Thanks, Boss! So how many more?


... I hate you.


END OF CHAPTER 1

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"Only eleven"
Roflamol

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OH NO NOT HAMTARO

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MANLY KIRBY: THE COMIC

Ya make it sound like a bad thing. >.>a;;

Anyway, I love this adventure, especially the extra bits to it.

"Thanks, Boss! So, how many more?"

"Only 11 more Ham-Hams left to find!"

"... I hate you."

I love it. XD Now I have a reason to actually go to Pointless Palace, I guess. Keep it up Diddgery.

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Thanks to Caat. 'Tis very awesome.
Sord, Jyro, Skit, Drip, Shot-a, Marckus and Joe's Profiles

Greatest.

This is the best one of these playthrough narration topics.

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I'm glad you are enjoying it. Since I have no school today because of a blizzard, I'll be updating again.

Chapter 2: A Seed, A Scarf, A Cucumber


I woke up the next morning in a daze, trying to remember what I was here for anyways. After readjusting to being a hamster, I found out that my next destination was Sunflower Park. From the looks of it it's designed for humans, but I guess hamsters hang out there regularly as well. This'll give me a good chance to see what it's like being a hamster in a human's world.


Upon entering I spotted a rather suspicious looking cave dug into a big pile of sand. Hmm.


I'm gonna do a bit of investigating. It's what curious little hamsters do best!


...
do not ask me about what i have seen, for i do not even know myself what i have just witnessed


In an attempt to try to forget the atrocities I have just seen, I talked to this tanning Ham-Ham. I didn't have the heart to tell him that we're not at the beach. As I spoke to him, an odd smell wafted into my adorable pink nose. It smelled like.. olive oil.


I asked the sunbathing Ham-Ham about it. He told me to shut up and never speak of this again.


I wandered into the next area, where I ran into a Ham-Ham crying about losing his seed or something. And apparently he's SO mega-q that he can't even move, so it's up to me! Again.


I dug around, but I came up empty every time. Eventually there was only one more hole to check...


EW, DOODIE!


I ran into a counting Ham-Ham. He wouldn't talk to me, so I did the only thing that I could think of doing.


YOU GONNA IGNORE ME? THAN EAT SOME DIRT!


I think I'm starting to figure out how Ham-Chat works. You take a real word, then add -q, -p, or -o to the end of it for no reason.

The Ham-Ham ran off to go find his friends. I guess they're playing hide and seek or something. I continued to explore the area, searching for ol' fatty's fat seed of fat.


Is.. is this a slide?! It's huge!! I've always wanted to go down a slide that's twenty times my height, so I climbed up.


....I'm having second thoughts here, guys


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


Luckily there was this other Ham-Ham here to break my fall. He was one of the hiders, and he started to think that maybe they had forgotten him. But then the seeker showed up and totally found him! A happy ending for all.


I also found another secret burial ground for clothing, so I bought a magnifying glass. Zvarri!


In the next area... I FOUND THE JUNGLE GYM!

I hate the jungle gym. One time when I was a kid I climbed to the top of it, but I couldn't get down. I was so scared that I stayed up there even though recess was over, and I sat out there alone for a couple of minutes before the teacher noticed that I was missing. Ever since then jungle gyms fill me with a sense of dread. But if I must...


I found climbing the jungle gym as a hamster to be much easier, since all I had to do was scurry up like a squirrel. Maybe it's not so bad, after all! Anyways, at the top I ran into another Ham-Ham, but the wind picked up and blew her scarf away.


I guess she's just like that fatty. She's too scared to do anything on her own. What a coward....
...wait, maybe she's afraid to get off the jungle gym too! I can totally sympathize with her in that case. DON'T WORRY SCARFGIRL, I WILL HELP YOU GET YOUR SCARF BACK!


I had an idea. This'll teach that jungle gym a lesson.


HAHAHAHA I AM SUCH A FILTHY BEAST
(tonight I guarantee I will cry myself to sleep)


Back at the entrance, it looked like the sunbathing Ham-Ham was missing. Where could he have gone?


Then I met another Ham-Ham who was looking for his pet cricket, Tricket. He taught me how to say "friend" in Ham-Chat. All you have to do is lie down on your back and look exasperated. I guess that must be how it feels to have a cricket as your only friend.


He gave me Tricket's favorite food, for good measure. I guess I'm supposed to use this to try to lure the cricket back to him. I think that I'm more likely to catch a kappa with a cucumber, but whatever.


In a field of flower buds, I found a sign that the flowers will bloom if I talk to them. That's the biggest load of doodie I've ever heard.


HELLO STUPID FLOWERS


See, nothing happened. That sign isn't worth the gold it's made out of.


I went back to the entrance again in my search for the seed and also the scarf. I decided that it wouldn't hurt to check the cave of evil again... but then it collapsed, and the hamster was forced out. Then he was found by the seeker. I guess he was playing hide-and-seek, but... still... what he was doing in that cave... will haunt my dreams forever.

I decided to go on the slide again. Up there I ran into the sunbathing Ham-Ham. He was really greased up and went down the slide real quick-like. I followed him down, and...


...Where are we?

END OF CHAPTER 2

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I'm on a roll here, guys. An update a day. It's pretty intense. You can't even post to respond, I'm updating so fast. (or maybe I'm just telling myself that so I don't feel lonely). Regardless, here's...

Chapter 2.5: Pressure Activated Hamster Switches, or Now That's Using Your Girth


Last time I wound up in this mysterious, dirty, wet, gross place. But there was a Hamster Boutique, so naturally I had to go buy some crap.


A HAMSTER-SIZED BASEBALL BAT?!
I am so buying this. Now I'll be just like Ness! And Ninten equally so.


And now a treasure chest! Did I stumble upon the Land of RPGs?


Da nu na na, da nu na na, danunana, danunanadanunana DANUNANA..


DA NA NA NAAAAAAAAH~!
Too bad rocks are useless as far as I can tell. But now I has FOUR o' thems!


What's this? What's this? There's color everywhere. What's this? There's... hamster faces on the ground.


It sucks that Mario's come down with Bean Fever. I'm not going to be able to get to this part until I help him recover.

Mario & Luigi jokes aside, I could not possibly fathom any possible reason that a mechanism that only really works for hamsters could ever exist. And yet there it was, in front of me. I guess I have to wake up suntan-Ham.


So I jumped in a puddle until he woke up. Works every time.


Well, I guess there are flowers, but.. this place doesn't seem like much of a secret if there's a hamster retail store nearby.


It just had a bunch of rocks in it. Why would anyone want to keep rocks in a treasure chest?


DAN DUNUNUN DAN DAN DAN DAAAAAN! daaauuuuun! Suntan-Ham joins you.


Our combined weight of 4 lbs lets us get through this door. I still don't know why I couldn't just stack up my four rocks to get through, but whatev.

He unjoined my party as soon as we left, that freeloader. Anyways, I was running out of leads as to the whereabouts of the sunflower seed and the scarf and Tricket, so I decided to head back to that Acorn Shrine.


I don't know about you, but I think that hamster is really creepy.


I happened across an area I haven't explored yet! I guess it really is a shrine...
..How is that Ham-Ham not falling through the large gaping holes as he hops back and forth? Maybe he is an expert at platforming.


I learned what the local onomatopoeia for snoring is.


Oh! Remember that girl hamster that wanted to meet a mega-q hamster? Well, I found one. This fatty was in love with a teenie Ham-Ham.. teenie being the Ham-Chat word for small. Anyways, he gave me this love note to give her. I was supposed to tack-q right into her. I hope she'll understand after she recovers from the concussion!

Along the way I found Tricket the cricket and gave him the cucumber.[/img]


But he eated it.


I slammed my tiny hamster body into the equally tiny body of this other hamster, and then presented her with the note. She gladly accepted. I hope they can be happy together, despite their size differences.

I continued my search for the scarf and/or seed.


IT'S A VOLCANO!


Oof. I guess it wasn't a volcano.


The blue hamster taught me about clocks.

I wanted to go inside the shrine, but the stairs are so big I can't even climb them. So I crawled underneath it to see what I could see... and I saw a shadow peering down at me from up above. I yelled at it, and it fell down..


..to reveal itself as another hamster. Of course. But seriously, how do they all know my name?


Judging from this list, the one Ham-Chat word that will make him stop being all embarrassed is that ?. I guess I'll have to come back later.


Back to Sunflower Park so I can return Tricket.


He was so happy to see his only friend back again. It's a nice feeling to mend the relationships between rodents and insects. I guess.


It's a MYSTERY item!

..I suddenly got an idea. Maybe "this" was fatty's special seed! I tried giving it back to him, but he didn't accept it.


So I did my best impression of Edvard Munch's "The Scream." Mr. Mega-Q freaked out and started convulsing as though having a seizure, and from out of his flabby rolls popped a massive sunflower seed. I guess it was stuck in his fat the whole time.


Don't thank me.


HAM-HAM PAAAUNCH!


I dragged the fatty back to the clubhouse, where I learned his name was Oxnard. I guess he got tired of me poking fun at his fatness. Anyways, Boss congratulated me. I would've flipped him off, but hamsters don't really have middle fingers... or fingers, even. We just kind of have these little stubby digits on our paws.
....
I mean they. They have tiny stubby digits. I have fingers because I am human, just stuck in the body of a hamster.


He decided to teach me some new words as a reward, or something.


Did I say "new words?" I meant to say, "how to poke things with sticks." I am so totally going to use this one on Oxnard.

END OF CHAPTER 2.5

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PRICELESS

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Our time is now. Let us enjoy it to the fullest.
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Har har, fat jokes XD

I love this. Diddgery! You must keep this up, not matter what! It's too awesome to give up :D

... That reminded me...

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Thanks to Caat. 'Tis very awesome.
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This is win indeed. :o

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Yup Dat's Me !

Sorry about the lack of update yesterday. I had my friend over for heap big funtime, and couldn't get to updating.

Chapter 3: Hamsters Don't Wear Clothes for a Reason

I had trouble getting to sleep that night. I felt kind of bad about those two hamsters that I couldn't help, because they're probably still sitting out there by themselves. Also, it doesn't matter if I'm a hamster or not, it is hard to sleep on anything that isn't a bed. Cushions don't cut it.


But the next morning, good news! Boss finished making a room for me. I decided to go check it out before leaving the clubhouse to go find a scarf or something.


He should have consulted me before putting my room right next to the two hamsters I hate the most. At least the door's my favorite color.


When I went inside the room, somebody appeared from behind me. Mach Pizza? Is that you?


Oh, it was that HM Boutique guy. I guess they deliver my tiny hamster accessories personally. It's kind of creepy.


NUH-UH, I HAVE A BAG OF HOLDING
The Not-Pizza-Ham left, so I continued to survey my surroundings.


Who the hell is Hamtaro? Get my name right next time, Boss.

I decided to try out some of my clothes on. I haven't bought any real clothes yet, but at least I won't feel so naked.


Good lord I look like some sort of horrible hamster fusion between Jean Armstrong and Luke Atmey. Yeah, I am not going out like this. I removed the items and continued exploring the unexplored regions of the clubhouse.


Oh, Boss's room! I bet it's full of manly work-out equipment and a gigantic television set. Today's Super Bowl Sunday, you know. He wouldn't want to miss that. Since he's such a big tough manly man hamster. Maybe there's some dummies for him to beat up, too. He seems like the kind of guy that would take out his anger on replicas of his most hated adversaries. Well, I guess there's only one way to find out..


......

i think it's about time i go searching for some more hamsters
yes, that sounds like a good idea


Oh! I can travel to a few new locations. Hmm, let's see... the Ruins or some kind of Elementary School.

That's easy. I'm not going to spend my days as a small rodent going back to school. I can't even begin to describe how awkward that would be. Though I probably would be popular with the lady types... ah, forget it. To the Ruins! I hope there's treasure.


At the entrance a very sick-looking hamster taught me the art of SHADOW CLONE JUTSU
too bad I'm not a Naruto fan, otherwise I'd be excited about this new technique! Maybe I can just pretend it is Double Team or something.


I decided to wash my pa-HANDS because I didn't want to get sick from that guy. Mud puddles are clean, right?


This flower was so amazed by my p-HANDwashing prowess that it spewed out some sunflower seeds. And it's not even a sunflower! Maybe hamsters have magic powers.


I met an honorable old Japanese hamster. But I guess that's to be expected, since I'm in Japan and all. I would've said "hello," but since hamsters use Ham-Chat I decided to use that instead.


he activated his trap card: FLIPPING THE TABLE


He vented his frustration about the young'ns, with their boom-boom rap music and their hopscotch and hula hoops and the hippin' and the hoppin' and the bippin' and the boppin' so they don't know what the jazz is all about. I picked up the sunflower seeds he dropped and left. I'm not sure he noticed.


The next area had a broken television set and this little guy wearing a hat. He knows my name too. I think there might be some kind of Hamspiracy going on. See, it's a portmanteau of "hamster" and "conspiracy." I'm so witty and clever.


Who?


Why?


I ignored him and decided to see if this TV still worked. I slammed my little hamster body into the power button, and....


John Freeman yelled "LOOK OUT BRO!" and pointed up to the top of the sky!


OWWWWWWWW
Where did this saucepan come from!?

Somehow I escaped without any damage, I was just kind of dazed and confused. So I wandered off to see what I could see.


I climbed on top of a clock and found this overturned car with some sunflower seeds on it. Hmm, how could I reach them? I could climb on top of the car or flip it over, but that would require too much effort and wouldn't require using Ham-Chat. Hey, I know!


Poke.. poke... poke...
...
it didn't work. Lame.


In the next area, this purple hamster told me that a small girl was seen up that ladder. Maybe it's this "Penelope" person.


I give my liIiife
Not for honor,
but fooor yoooou
(Snake Eater)
In my tiiiIiiiime there'll be nooOO one eeeeelse
CriiiIIime, it's the way I fly tooo yooOOou
(Snake Eater)
I'm stiiiiill in a dreeeaam, Snaaake Eater!


I didn't find a little girl, but I did find Clyde from Pac-Man in hamster form playing on a frog. I tried to get their attention, but they didn't notice. So I pulled the plug out of their swimming pool.


As you can see, I pulled it SO HARD that the world glitched over for a second.


Oh. Um. Did I glitch the world to the point where they stopped existing?


Wait, there they are. Girl? Oh, no. That's not a girl. That's Clyde, from Pac-Man.


Okay, maybe it is a girl. Could it be Penelope? She smiled and went "OOKWEE" as an affirmation. I guess I found her. Good job, me! I told the frog I was going to take her home.


Penelope said good-bye to the frog while I tried out my best jazz hands.


Underneath the blanket was a little hamster! That's good. I didn't want to bring home the ghost of Penelope, then I might be in trouble. Before I left, the frog asked if I wanted to save my game, so I said okay.

END OF CHAPTER 3

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SNAAAAKE EATEEEEEEERRRR
That music is so weird.
Specially when it starts playing in the stairs >>

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"Obviously you're not a golfer."

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Our time is now. Let us enjoy it to the fullest.
Trying to be more active. Let's see how that works out.[/right]

I didn't realize that when you solve a person's problem, you should uppercut them afterwards.

I need to remember to do that next time.

Commenting to support :(

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Magi's Great Earthbound Epic! Chapter 14 is out! Read it to spite Pokey!
| Magi's Livejournal | Magi on last.fm | Magi on Twitter |
September 17, 2007. Support our troops !!!!4 YEARS!!!!

This is a good LP.

LOL Diddgery, this is awesomely funny!=WIN

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