Kirby's Rainbow Resort

That photographer needs a new sauce.

And... maybe you can find a flower in the park?

_________________

"Hamster Mimics Journalist Brushel," end quote.

Also, go to the ruins.

Hells yes, Brushel beats Lotta into the ground.

Acorn Shrine. Also, keep up the good work!

_________________

Now that I actually know who Brushel is, I can agree with this. Next time I encounter her, I'll probably reference Brushel... anyways. Since there was a vote for the shrine, two votes for the park, and three for the ruins.. I'll be going to the ruins first.

LET US BEGIN

Chapter 6-3: The Forecast For Today Is Boring


I was starting to run out of ideas, and I know that Boss would be disappointed if I came back to the Clubhouse without bringing another Ham-Ham with me. But.. where else can I look? The Garden's useless, and so is the Market... and then I remembered another place I could investigate.


That kid in the green hat was still missing, right? Maybe I could find him.
...That guy could seriously use some Cold Killer X. Too bad I don't have anything with me.


On the way back, I ran into that frog again. He once again proudly told me about his ability to predict the weather... I didn't care as usual, but someone once told me that flattery is the best way to manipulate somebody into doing what you want.

..Wait, did they say that? I don't remember exactly what was said. But it's worth a shot.


YOUR WEATHER FORECASTS ARE AMAZING AND ACCURATE, TEACH ME YOUR SECRETS OH WISE ONE


Oh. He really is teaching me his secrets. All I do is sniff the air? I've done that before a lot of times, and nothing really amazing happened. Maybe it's because I didn't have secret frog wisdom imparted upon me.


I stuck my adorable hamster nose in the air and inhaled deeply, because the amphibian told me to. And if you can't trust something that started out its life wiggling around in the water with no legs, what can you trust?!


Auh.. uh... wh-what is this? I'm not entirely sure how to describe this sensation... Have you ever gone outside on a cold, misty day and took a deep breath, and all those little cold water particles rush in and cling in your nose and mouth? That's sort of like what I just felt. It was.. really, really weird. But then again, I've been experiencing a bunch of weird things lately.


The frog was clearly pleased while watching me try to comprehend what I just smelled as I rubbed my nose furiously in an attempt to get the scent of coldness out of it. So he gave me a badge. Which was really just a rolled-up leaf. Well, that's pretty worthless.


Oh.. right. That's why I couldn't get the green-capped hamster to come back with me. This loser was in the way. And.. he still won't move. Hrgh. Maybe I should go visit Mama Hamskewitz instead. She probably is back from her picnic in the Garden.


going uuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUP!


Why, yes. Yes I most certainly do.


Um... this badge doesn't make me into a weather forecaster, but.. I guess I could try..


And there's that feeling again. Auh, my nose.. I'm never doing it again. But.. I couldn't shake the feeling that it was going to rain sometime soon. Maybe.. maybe this is what that frog meant by predicting the weather?


One.. ONE WORD?! Um... uh... hrm... well...




W-why of course! I.. I don't make mistakes!! Y-yeah!!

And.. um... there's nothing left to do here. I can't get in to that place, and there's no other Ham-Hams to find. Maybe I should head back to the Acorn Shrine once more. Perhaps I can finally convince that tall guy to come back to the clubhouse.


This was the first place I went to after I arrived here. How long has it been since I first became a hamster? Six days, maybe? Wow, almost a week. Pretty shocking, when I think about it.

On the way to the shrine, I saw that hamster hopping around on that thing again. But this time, I had an idea.


Aha! Tack-Q into a wall, and stuff happens! Like a rope falling down! I have clearly learned much.


What view are you talking about? We're only about a foot off the ground. But then again, I guess it's pretty high up for a hamster.


are you kidding i am going to die
where are you going

come back here

don't leave me


nnnngh c-come back! i.. i can do this, i can do this... i'll be okay..


H-hey, this is actually kind of fun when you get the hang of it. Boing! Boing! B-WHAUH!


WOW THANK YOU FOR POINTING THAT OUT, I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT I NEARLY FELL TO MY DEATH AS I HAD PREDICTED. YOU ARE A GENTLEHAM AND A SCHOLAR.


After helping me up, the crazy hamster said that things like that happen sometimes. And then he made a weird face, bounced around, and chortled a bizarre noise that I can only assume is the Ham-Chat equivilent of "Hakuna Matata." Not wanting to repeat that near-death experience, I climbed down and headed to where the tall Ham-Ham from before was.


hold on buddy i'm-a comin'!!


Here I a--WHAUH!


I.. I fell in the mud puddle. Bleeeh. As I picked myself up and started shaking the stuff of my body, I heard that guy laughing. Laughing at my misfortune! Well, he won't be laughing when I'm done with him..


...Oh. I guess I made him feel better? Uh. I guess that is a good thing.

...But what does he mean by "Whenever I see you?" We haven't met before. Except for when he first fell down from above, but that doesn't really count.


Bizarro!
BIZARRO!!
BIZAAAARROOOOoooo!!!


Yes! Now I won't go back to Boss empty-pawed!
...
w-wait, what did I just say?


This is what you get for making me make a Freudian slip!!

END OF CHAPTER 6 (finally.)

_________________

Brilliant. You finally found your next Ham!

_________________

Yeah. I mean, it couldn't possibly have any poison in it, right?

_________________

The best one I've ever seen.

_________________
:D

sorry there hasn't been an update in a while, but maybe i will do one later this week? i don't know

but I did get some fanart from the always wonderful Amika and that makes everything okay


a good punch is given and received after a successful ham-ham rescue.

_________________

Diddgery why have you stooped so low into the pit of violence and corruption~ D:

...Which for a hamster is probably no more than two feet.

_________________

Chapter 7: Pointless Mini-Game Brigade

I'm not really sure what to do today. I guess I'll mill about, learning more Ham-Chat until something happens, maybe. I guess the best place to start is by asking the other Ham-Hams?


Stupid ribbon hamster taught me "Goodgo," which means... "good going?" "Good luck?" Something like that. I thanked her. And then I called her fat again. Hee hee hee, I'm such a stinker.


Whoa. I didn't even realize there was such a thing as hamster-sized books. Hopefully there will be something here that I'd like to read...

...Wait, what the--? "Eragon?!" Okay, that does it. We're not friends anymore.


* Didgery stared into your soul. *


Aw, yeah. Looks like Pashmina totally digs me. Now all I need to do is figure out a way to get rid of Howdy and Dext--...

Jesus H. Christ, what am I thinking!? It's almost like the longer I stay a hamster, the more I begin to think like one.. or at least, the more I begin to accept this as my actual reality. No way, man. I'm not going to do this for the rest of my life. I gotta get out of here.


So, naturally, I went to the market. To buy.. some kind of a.. fish sauce. Y-yeah. Or maybe I'll just try talking to peo-


WHYWON'TYOULEAVEMEALOOOOOOONE

The crazy Ham-Swap salesdude was all, "you have to buy this Flugo! It'll cure any cold instantly!" And I thought, hey, that's not so bad.


And then he was like "20 sunflower seeds" and I thought, no way man that's a rip-off.


And then he was like "darn..." and I thought, darn right skippy


And then he was like "Okay how about I give it to you at the low low price of one sunflower seed!" And I thought, wow that's like almost free, that's a great deal


Yes, really, really.


Oh boy! Now I can be Dr. Mario!! Time to go treat the sick hamster guy that was foreshadowed in the previous chapter.


You need to Chill, dude. It's like you've got a Fever.
*canned laughter*


No prob, Bob. Now hit me with some of that reward action! Maybe it'll be a new Ham-Chat word, or some item I need to use to learn some more words, like that flower I'm still looking for.


...Oh. An acorn. I'm excited.


Back at the market, this loser is trying to open a box of cookies by slamming into it. That's not gonna work, obviously, but he's just too dense to figure it out.


TAKE THAT!


All right, now that he's out of the way, time to open this cookie box!


OPEN SAYS ME


I guess I hit him so hard that he forgot that I hit him so hard. That's good!


OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.. This cookie is DELICIOUS! But I can't sit around and eat delicious cookies all day. I have to keep exploring.


Oh. That guy again. He wants me to play some of his dumb game... well, I know just what to say to that.


*TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
OW! My ears! My sensitive hamster ears!! What was that for?!


HRRRGH you are so stubborn I hate you. I don't want to do this! Don't force me to play this stupid mini-game!


Actually, it wasn't too difficult of a mini-game. All I had to do was make sure to follow the strawberries as they flew through the air, and then bounce them off my nose. I wasn't really athletic when I was a human, but as a hamster I'm just packed with energy. Must be all the sunflower seeds.


Are you going to give me a prize? I hope it's a flower. I've been looking for one, and..


Oh. A song. I only listen to K.K. Slider's stuff, so, um.. I am not sure if I can really accept th-


*TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
OKAY FINE I'LL TAKE IT I'LL TAKE IT. Sheesh.


And then I found this guy on the other side of the sliding glass that kept copying everything I did. Hm, I wonder..




..Okay seriously I think there may be something wrong with me. I normally would never publicly urinate like that.. um. Uh. Um.


you are weiiiiiiiird


Um. Yeah. I know that. I'm not stupid, like you are.


I learned how to turn invisible! Like some kind of.. invisible... magic... ability... power... thing. Whatever.

I think I'm done here in the market. But before I go...


That's for publishing slanderous material, you stupid, stupid hamster journalist!!

I headed to the Ruins, because I felt like I needed to tell the truth to Mama Hamskewitz about the weather. But first I decided to teach that old fuddy-duddy at the entrance a lesson somehow But how...?


Long story short, I dropped a saucepan on him. Okay, now to see Mama Hamskewitz.


Yeaah, that's the truth. Um. Sorry for lying.


When she and her children left, a hole became apparent! Time to get exploring!


.... in hindsight this was a terrible ideAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa


AAAAAAAAAAthunk.
well, um.. I guess I found green hat kid? And he's hanging out at a... hamster Chuck-E-Cheese or something. Without any pizza.


Fun! I wonder how the hamsters power this fun little amusement?


..Oh, uh, I guess it is actually hamster-powered. That makes sense... sort of... They taught me that "blahh" means "tired." I'm actually feeling kind of blahh right now, because I just want to stop running around and getting all of the Ham-Hams to go back to the clubhouse. Anyways.


Yes. Yes I did.


He told me that he's obsessed with this "Shogun Wig," which is exactly what it sounds like. It's really kind of dumb-looking, actually. But he doesn't seem to realize that. I told him to come back to the clubhouse.


Yes! That was easy.


GO GO HAM-...


oh you stupid green-hatted loser. I guess I am going to have to play this stupid mini-game. How bothersome...


LET'S BOWLING!

one minute later..


Okay NOW we can get out of here.


Yes okay, can we go now


As opposed to feeling Chansey.

And now, for real....


GO GO HAM-HAM PUNCH!!

END OF CHAPTER 7

_________________

I can only wonder what the ESRB rating on this game really should have been.

Indeed. Although you should used Go-P on the slanderius material as well as scratching it. Would have been so much better.

But still brillaint. Keep it up!

_________________

"pg 13+ contains peeing hamsters"

Yeeeeeaaah... that would be really good for sales and the ESRB's reputation. ^^;

_________________

...what do you have against Eragon?

Funny as always, though.
That minigame took me like fifteen tries to finally, FINALLY beat. Argh.

_________________



What is love?

I don't understand what people have against it either. I see nothing against it in here though.

_________________

I think he doesn't like Eragon because not only is it fairly poorly written, but the plot is just Star Wars with elves.

_________________

Just check this website out for all you need to know about why Eragon is absolutely terrible. It's okay if you don't change your opinion of the series after reading that. All that matters is if you can't at least understand my opinion after reading the articles.

I've become a lot more discerning when it comes to stories in books. Like today I just finished reading the second book in a fantasy series called "The Grey Griffins," and the only reason I read it is because I had nothing else to read. It was so wrought with cliches that I predicted every single plot twist - some more than 100 pages before they even occurred! And not to mention that the book was written in a way that would make an adaptation into a movie really easy (so it's obvious what the authors had in mind)... But, again, that is just me. Someone might enjoy it if it's one of the first fantasy stories they've ever read, but I guess I've become too jaded?

Back to the topic at hand. There won't be another Ham-Ham update for a while because of Brawl. So here's a picture of a hamster with a drill. Just because. You can name him if you'd like. Or her. It's not exactly a gender-distinct hamster.

_________________

This hamster will henceforth be known as Jill.

_________________

Drill Hamster is perfectly okay.

Keep it that.

_________________